At the last meeting where I'd brought this to show, I got savaged. It was a very productive savaging, it was tough love, but love nonetheless. In a way, that was reassuring because all the previous feedback from this group had been so positive, I wondered if they'd bring the hurt when I really needed it. They did, they did! And I did need it, and after it marinated for a bit, it really was the right direction to take the project.
So anyway, over the weekend, I sat down to write, and absolutely nothing happened. I just got distracted and ended up goofing off, my head and heart weren't in the game. But yesterday as the hours grew short, and I really wanted to have something to show for my efforts, I had the document open all day, and just stared at it, with my own ineptitude and lack of talent staring back out at me. But if I have any talent at all, it's this - that when I sit down and force myself to write, something will happen. This is fortunate. If, Imshallah, I ever get a full-time writing job, I will be able to be productive every day. And I finally did hammer away at the structure of this story, worked out some kinks, and beat something onto the page to show.
And I didn't get savaged. It was palpably better. It's not there yet, but this is real progress, and both of my fellow writers said they really liked where it's headed and look forward to the first draft. Which it is now time to write - the last lingering bits of "what the heck do I do here?" came to me last night either as suggestions or as a result of talking about my challenges. I've got it. It'll change plenty before it's done, I'm sure, but I've got what I need to work through them.
Onwards and upwards.