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Worst party you've ever been to?

Someone on reddit asked "what's the worst party you've ever been to?"

This one was memorable.
I used to work for a big company - a very large and roundly hated cable provider. They were incredibly cheap, and pinched pennies in every way imaginable. One year they celebrated the anniversary of their founding with a mandatory company picnic. If we didn't attend, we'd be written up. No time off granted, so it came out of our PTO. So on a dismal Friday afternoon, we bundled off to the "big party."

Which our asshole boss - the king of asshole bosses, he made the UK "Office" seem like the US "Office" - had scheduled for a park. Lo and behold, that park was directly across from his house. And this "park" was a patch of grass next to a huge highway overpass. It started raining, but the "party" was not rescheduled, we were all told to attend. It was held under the overpass, with all the bums in their tent city. Who, by the way, ate better than us because we were each allotted either one burger or one hotdog. They were frozen burgers and dogs from the local supermarket. No alcohol permitted.

The "highlight" of the "party" was a raffle drawing for what we'd been told were going to be really great prizes. This at least wasn't too improbable, since vendors from big companies would send us extravagant gifts to try and persuade us to buy their stuff. It turned out that the big prize was, in fact, pretty cool - an R/C car that was one of the ones that was like, gas-powered and pretty expensive and all that jazz. Everything else were little grab-bags full of company branded tchotchkes or t-shirts or whatever.

Naturally the asshole boss drew his own number - total coincidence, he promised! - for the big prize, which he took. There were exactly enough grab-bags for everyone there, except one. Naturally I was the only person who didn't get one. Mind you, I didn't care to have a company-branded t-shirt, but it was the fucking parsimonious, cheap-ass attitude that went with it that pissed me off. That, and the asshole boss walking over, pointing and laughing at me whole-heartedly and brushing tears from his eyes, saying, "Sucks to be you!"

I seriously exercised some willpower, and just didn't say anything, and made to leave. He yelled after me, "You haven't been dismissed yet, you have to stay until 5!" And then pointed and laughed at me some more.

Yeah, that was the worst party I ever went to.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 10th, 2012 06:53 pm (UTC)
Yeah, nothing I could possibly come up with could come close to competing with that. lol

Edit: I did remember one that I was invited to that was anything but. In college I met a girl at an intramural basketball game. Her team needed another player and I offered to play. Several days later I ran into her on campus and decided on a whim to ask her if she wanted to go out sometime. It was a huge step for me as that was the first time I had ever done that. She said sure and invited me to a get-together the following day on campus and afterwards we could do dinner.

The 'get-together' turned out to be a pitch session put on by a company recruiting students to do door-to-door sales for a youth encyclopedia set. The only reason I was invited was to try becoming one of these pitchmen. I was so ticked off at being used like that I immediately shut down. After the example sales pitch the person in charge of the shindig said they wanted people who believed in the product to sell it. I saw my out and quickly raised my hand indicating I didn't believe in it, that the waste of money spent on something that would only be good for a few years--if that--didn't outweigh the benefits of a formal, adult encyclopedia set that could be useful for much longer. He asked that I leave.

Outside in the hall the girl caught up and asked what the deal was. I told her I didn't appreciate getting sucked into something under false pretense and wished her the best. Never saw her again and wasn't all that disappointed I didn't, either.

Edited at 2012-06-11 04:41 am (UTC)
Jun. 11th, 2012 05:53 pm (UTC)
That really is painful. Hey, at least it wasn't Amway. I got suckered like that a couple of times, too.

I actually read this message before going to bed last night, and then had dreams about you as an encyclopedia salesman, by the way. :)
Jun. 13th, 2012 12:45 am (UTC)
lol... I hope you shot me in your dream. ;)

I think you'll like how I retaliated.

They had a guy come out--their "top salesman"--who immediately went into his spiel. He asks what he thinks is a deceptively tricky question: "So how many of you know what a semicolon is?" No one immediately raises a hand, so I see an opening to mock him openly and raise mine.

"Yes? What's a semicolon?"

"A comma with a period over it," I retorted, delivered as bitterly as I can possibly muster.

This totally nonplussed him. "Uh, yes. Yes, it is." He immediately makes eye contact with anyone else and continues his pitch, never again looking my way.

That was the first time I had ever taken the offensive when annoyed with someone in a public setting. A week full of growth all the way around. :D

Edited at 2012-06-13 12:45 am (UTC)
Jun. 13th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC)
What on earth kind of leading question is "So how many of you know what a semicolon is?" What ...I just don't understand how that turns into a sale. And also, who doesn't know that?

(Or should I say... And also; who doesn't know that?)
Jun. 15th, 2012 02:16 pm (UTC)
The guy was trying to demonstrate that the youth encyclopedia would also have stuff in it that would be of value to adults with a simple example that adults would have trouble defining. In the end, it was just a stupid idea. If you're going to fork over several hundred dollars for encyclopedias, best to get something that'll last longer than two years.

Of course, the Internet and Wikipedia has rendered all hard copy encyclopedias moot. Why pay anything when you can get it for free?
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


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