Saturday night we went to Umami Burger and then saw Conan. That's kind of a dream date if think about it, right there. Anyway, after dinner we had some time to kill before the movie started, and went to get some gelato in a cone at the Promenade in Santa Monica. And what is the difference between gelato and ice cream, I ask you? Everyone has a different answer, but I think the truth is - about $1.25 a cone as pretentious-mark-up.

Sitting on the sidewalk table, watching people and eating my pretentious ice-cream cone, it struck me. You really shouldn't make eye contact with anyone while you're eating an ice-cream cone in public. There's just no way it won't be at best, really awkward - or at worse, interpreted as a truly rude come-on. And who knows who you'll be soul-gazing with when you're running your tongue delicately up and down your cone - sure, it might be the hottie walking by, but it's just as likely someone's grandma. Or, this being Santa Monica, a spooky drifter panhandling change to get a bottle of two-buck chuck. Even if one's spouse it gets a touch awkward (he said from personal experience.)

So now we can add ice-cream cones to the list of things not to make eye contact while eating. Previous list items: bananas, corn-dogs and very large pickles.