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New Year's Resolution Failure

I have failed.
Yesterday, after my untimely death at the gym, I forgot to put my shoes away. This morning, to my horror, I found them under the coffee table. My horror was mitigated somewhat by being dead.

I always expected either like, bright lights and some sort of reckoning, or maybe just nothingness and the void when I died. Instead, it's a lot like being alive, only with the entire upper half of my body in massive pain. And, like a velociraptor, I can't lift my hands over my shoulders. So that's what being dead is like.

Sorry about the shoes.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
yagathai
Jan. 11th, 2011 08:51 pm (UTC)
I can't lift my hands over my shoulders

Neither can John McCai-

Hmmm. Have you and John McCain ever been in the same place at the same time?
aghrivaine
Jan. 11th, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
Yeah. A tiger-cage in Vietnam. I don't like to talk about it though. It's just...just too hard.
yagathai
Jan. 11th, 2011 08:59 pm (UTC)
So you could be a were-McCain.
pyr8queen
Jan. 12th, 2011 05:20 am (UTC)
I accept your apology for the shoes, they will be burnt on your funeral pyre and their ashes spread in the Pacific.
nephandi
Jan. 12th, 2011 08:48 pm (UTC)
Being dead might work as an affirmative defense.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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