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Santa is scary

Santa Claus is coming to town.

This is a seriously scary song. lauraluvsbacon pointed out how weird the Springsteen song is, but it got me thinking, altogether, it's frightening, and we just THINK it's funny and heart-warming.

You better watch out
I mean, there it is right there, the warming. This is not a song of joy, it's a song of dread.

You better not cry
Better not pout

At the North Pole, no one can hear you scream.

I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

See, this is a threat. You'd better watch out because Santa is coming to town. This is something to fear.

He's making a list
And checking it twice;

A list. Your name is on the list. The Santa is thorough - the list will be checked twice, and you are ON THAT LIST. Are you afraid yet?

Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

Note that no preference is announced. Sure, we're supposed to just ASSUME he's going to nice things for nice kids, and mean things to naughty kids - but consider that St. Nick is known to travel in the company of Krampus. Scared yet?

He sees you when you're sleeping
Oh my god. Why is he watching me when I'm asleep? This is seriously creepy.

He knows when you're awake
How? Sweet Krampus' tits! How does he know? Has he installed some sort of device? Get my tin foil hat!

He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

See, here we're instructed to be good for "goodness sake". Not because it will inspire any mercy or generosity from the Claus. He knows no mercy. He knows no generosity. He knows no pity. He is watching you both awake and alseep. Your name is on his list, and it will not be missed.

He is coming.
The drums in the deep are sounding.
He is coming.
You'd better watch out.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
regina_of_york
Dec. 9th, 2010 02:19 pm (UTC)
At the North Pole, no one can hear you scream.
I loled, for real.




Also, I was having similar thoughts about Christmas carols this morning.

Example 1) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. We all know that the other reindeer were rude jerks to poor Rudy. And they only start being nice once they see he can provide a useful service. I'm sure they still talk smack about him behind his back!
Example 2) Baby It's Cold Outside. It's supposed to be romantic, but could be interpreted as rather creepy.
blanchemains
Dec. 12th, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
Well. You just completely freaked out my child. Thanks for that.

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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