Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two
aghrivaine

  • Mood:

Several Short Letters

Dear My Long-Estranged Father's Side of the Family;
Now would be an excellent time for one of you to have turned out to left me some money. Not because I'm desperate or anything - far from it - but we found the perfect house and we'd love to buy it.

Yours;
DK

Dear Blink, Greatest-Dog-In-The-World;
Please resume your morning "regularity" on our walks - leaving you at home without clear evidence of your intestinal comfort makes me very nervous.
Yours;
DK

Dear Video Game Makers;
Slow it down! Too much good stuff all at once!
Yours;
DK

Dear Cats;
An empty bowl or a closed door is not an emergency. Pipe down.
Yours;
DK

Dear French people;
How the hell do you eat like that and stay so thin? For that matter, why have I lost weight since starting to learn French cooking?
Yours;
DK

Dear Sunsets;
Amazing. Please keep it up.
Yours;
DK

Dear Weather;
It is mid-November. Please feel like it.
Yours;
DK

Dear Imdb;
Please figure out a way to read my mind, so when I see some actor that I think I kind of recognize but can't quite place where, and don't know the name of the character they are currently playing, you can give me the answer.
Yours;
DK

Dear Science;
It is the 21st Century. I want a flying car, a pet dinosaur, and a feast in pill form, right away. Get on that.
Yours;
DK
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 2 comments