Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

  • Mood:

If heaven is Belgium...

And I believe it is, with the world's best beer and chocolate - then Hell is a dentist's chair. Yesterday I made the mistake of not eating beer and chocolate. Instead, I had some cereal. Shocking and wrong-headed, I know. In one particularly toothsome bite (heh heh that pun will make sense in a second, just wait for it...) I crunched down on something really hard. Like, a pebble or something! Those bastardos at Trader Joes, putting pebbles in their cereal! Then I fished it out and discovered it was an off-white color. Oddly like a tooth fragment. So much like a tooth fragment golly, it WAS a tooth fragment.

So yeah, broke a tooth. And to cut to the chase, after my first taste of hot coffee which sent a jolt of pain right up into my seventh chakra, I was in a dentist's chair getting the bad news that I needed to have two wisdom teeth removed, a cavity filled, two crowns, a deep cleaning, and irrigation. They numbed me up and dove in on the first part - cleaning, one crown, irrigation. I can't fault the dentist or her assistants for being anything other than competent and cheerful, and explaining all the procedures, their charges, and what my insurance (mostly didn't) cover.

But there I am getting whole sections of my mouth drilled off, and it's pure Hell. I keep telling myself, "I am a leaf on a still pond. I am a leaf on a still pond. I am settled delicately on the reflective surface of a sun-dappled pond. The air is crisp and cool, and I do not hear the high-pitched whining of a wasp from hell drilling drilling DRILLING into my jaw. I am a leaf on a pond. Somewhere, someone other than me can feel the drill-bit JUDDERING AGAINST HIS JAW. Oh god! Oh sweet mother of bounteous boobies, it's me, it's me! I'm not a leaf! I'm not a leaf! That's part of my body flying up in dust form to coat the ...oh my god she is JAMMING A PICK into an empty socket. I am a leaf on a pond. I am a leaf on a still and serene pond...floating gently, so gently...HELP ME!

So yeah. Now I have a temporary crown, which is where they make a resin cast of your tooth, grind off all but a nub, and then epoxy the cast onto the nub. Everything tastes like the dentist's office. I am still very temperature sensitive. In most other ways, my life is also a shambles - a sad, painful shambles that is nothing like Belgium and much like a dentist's chair.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.