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Music Monday: Rotten Pirates edition

I like pirates. I like piratey music. I like absurdities.
I dislike heavy metal. I dislike people who do shitty things, and also the shitty things they do.

All of these things have come together in the following: a heavy metal pirate music video, and the theft of pyr8queen's jib-furling sail. We went down to the boat yesterday to do some of the never-endling list of things you have to do to take care of a boat. Only to find someone had flat-out stolen the jib. The jib is the smaller of the triangular sails on a typical sailboat, and since this one wraps or "furls" around the forestay, it's a jib-furling sail. So someone came along and undid all the rigging that fixes it to the stay, as well as the lines that run back to the cockpit so the crew can let it out to one side or the other when tacking. (Changing direction in respect to the wind.) But the really surreal thing? After stealing the sail, they re-wound the lines into the furling block, and re-attached the jib-lines that run from fore-to-aft. Why? Why make such neat work of a piece of petty theft? Piracy, I tells ya! Surreal piracy!

So, annoyed and frustrated with pirates, the following video is entirely appropriate: piratey sea-shanties ruined by the addition of heavy metal.


* 1/2 pound elbow macaroni
* 3 tablespoons butter
* 3 tablespoons flour
* 1 tablespoon powdered mustard
* 3 cups milk
* 1/2 cup yellow onion, finely diced
* 1 bay leaf
* 1/2 teaspoon paprika
* 1 large egg
* 12 ounces sharp cheddar, shredded
* 1 teaspoon kosher salt
* Fresh black pepper


* 3 tablespoons butter
* 1 cup panko bread crumbs


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a large pot of boiling, salted water cook the pasta to al dente.

While the pasta is cooking, in a separate pot, melt the butter. Whisk in the flour and mustard and keep it moving for about five minutes. Make sure it's free of lumps. Stir in the milk, onion, bay leaf, and paprika. Simmer for ten minutes and remove the bay leaf.

Temper in the egg. Stir in 3/4 of the cheese. Season with salt and pepper. Fold the macaroni into the mix and pour into a 2-quart casserole dish. Top with remaining cheese.

Melt the butter in a saute pan and toss the bread crumbs to coat. Top the macaroni with the bread crumbs. Bake for 30 minutes. Remove from oven and rest for five minutes before serving.

Remember to save leftovers for fried Macaroni and Cheese.

No, wait, that's actually Alton Brown's mac-and-cheese recipe, which was in my buffer when I cut and paste. It's amusing so I'll leave it there. Ok, NOW the pirate metal.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 16th, 2010 12:47 am (UTC)
I do like the chorus. But seriously, couldn't they at least have taken the "Roland" strap off his guitar?
Mar. 16th, 2010 12:48 am (UTC)
what part of metal and/or pirates suggests a careful attention to detail?
Mar. 16th, 2010 01:07 am (UTC)
well, come on- they did a somewhat decent job with everything else... good piratey costumes, stringy hair (yeah, I know that's par for the course), old wooden tables, dented tankards, old-looking coins to gamble with...
Mar. 16th, 2010 02:06 am (UTC)
Neither the first nor the best pirate metal band, but I appreciate their effort!
Mar. 16th, 2010 02:09 am (UTC)
Genuine article
I used to have a Running Wild patch on my denim jacket. True facts!

Mar. 16th, 2010 03:03 am (UTC)
I am currently bailing water out of my basement. I appreciate this song.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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