Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

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Open Letter to Barnes and Nobles (or possibly Borders)

Dear Barnes and Nobles;

With a sinking sense of horror, I stopped in at the Howard Hughes Center location in Los Angeles, today. Over the past year, your selection of books has steadily decreased in order to make more room for "Twilight" like books in the Young Adult category. Now you have the entire center of your story occupied by a great number of a very few books.

I tried reading those "Twilight" books, but they had the intellectual depth of Dr.Seuss (really, that's totally unfair to Mr. Geist, who was quite a thinker!) and the prose quality of airline emergency drill placards. The imitators of "Twilight", who occupied the majority of the section, are, I can only imagine, even worse.

I've been a passionate reader almost my entire 38 years. (I took a few years off in the beginning to learn that whole eating with utensils, walking, and bathroom skills thing). You used to have four solid rows of fantasy and science-fiction, and a large chunk of your story occupied with regular fiction. Now you're down to two rows of sci-fi and fantasy, and a much smaller shelf-count of fiction. And for what? For a pathetic, whiny, dull-as-dishwater exploration of Mormon sexual-angst as seen through the eyes with the emotional wisdom of a sea-cucumber. You ever seen a sea-cucumber? They do not sit around having deep discussions of the impossibility of compassion in a hostile world. No, they lay there like particularly ugly, inert, briny turds. JUST LIKE TWILIGHT.

You are dooming our nation. You are taking excellent authors, both the up-and-coming like Scott Lynch, Joe Abercrombie or Naomi Novik, and the established like Stephen Brust or Jim Butcher, and tearing them off the shelf, never to be seen ...and for what? For tepid, witless, twee crap that rots the brains like pixie-stix rot teeth. Only without being sweet or giving you enough energy to huck a stolen zucchini through Mark Meyer's bedroom window from two houses over, like the real things do. Or did. At least for me. My point is - Pixie-Stix are somewhat like "Twilight", but not in ANY of the good ways - but that's what your store is turning into, one gigantic "Twilight" crap emporium.

I hate this development so much, I will probably just order from Amazon from now on.

God rot your eyes!
David Krieger
SGT, U.S. Army (retired)

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