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Dear Steve Jobs;
Though many fanboys would deny it, you are an heartless capitalist. But that's okay because this nation was built by capitalists even more heartless than you. (slavery much?) You capitalize on cheap labor abroad, you market relentlessly, you use your devices' exclusionary technologies to shut competitors out of the market. Basically you're a hard-nosed bastard.

So when my iPhone got water damaged, I was shocked at your policy. $600 to replace it? I was furious. You wouldn't even let me buy a refurb, which I was willing to do. This seemed foolish - you have a product and ready supply, and what's more as long as i've got that product, I'm a steady revenue stream for you with monthly bills, music, and applications. How insane that you'd essentially force me to leave the iFold as it were. And I did, I bummed a blackberry from work and got on with life. Missed that iPhone though, because it really is an amazing gadget.

Well apparently you woke up to the fact that 4/5th's of the world's surface is water, because you changed your policy. I'd already thought in my head that my pain point for replacement was $200 - beyond that was just too pricey. And what do you know, that's exactly the price of replacing a water-damaged iPhone now. I went and did it, and I'm not sorry, though I'm still pretty mad at the German fuckanados who knocked me into the Pacific with their clumsy sailing, and I'm in awe of your heartless capitalistic skill at siphoning out the exact maximum amount of dollars I'd be willing to spend.

Congratulations on seeing reason, and yet doing it in a way that proves you're still willing to kick puppies, as long as dollars come out.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 8th, 2009 03:18 pm (UTC)
...If you're selling your old Blackberry, I've been wanting to ditch AT&T for a while now...

Also: "fuckanados" - I'm stealing that word.
May. 8th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)
Sadly it was from work so i have to return it, basically.

You're welcome to it, but it's a word of my own invention, for once!
May. 8th, 2009 06:37 pm (UTC)
I don't get this. You dropped the iPhone in the water. Since when did a company have to replace an item damaged by your own carelessness? This rant is unfair and unjustified.
May. 8th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC)
dear anonymous apple fanboy;
every other cell phone company, and indeed AT&T itself, offers insurance on its cell phones for an additional charge. Apple however will not do that. they have a warranty that covers everything except accidents, water, and theft...which is to say, everything that actually goes wrong with cell phones.

i asked for insurance, and was refused. when the phone was damaged i was willing to pay for repairs, and couldn't do so for love or money. i was willing to extend my contract, and still my only option was to pay $600 for a full price phone, or fuck off.

this was a terrible policy because it was worse than what other cell companies offer, but established a precedent that that's ok, and that users will swallow terrible coverage and unfair prices in exchange for a cheap phone up-front. thankfully, they reversed their terrible policy and allowed me to purchase a re-furbed phone at the discounted price, which is what i wanted all along.

I was not careless, I had the phone in my pocket and got wet. as previously mentioned, we are ourselves made mostly of water, we exude water when hot, water fallls from the sky sometimes, we are around it constantly, and it covers 4/5th of the earth. My rant was reasonable and justifed.
May. 9th, 2009 03:39 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA....Steve Jobs kicks puppies for money.....
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )


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