Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

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Dear Steve Jobs;
Though many fanboys would deny it, you are an heartless capitalist. But that's okay because this nation was built by capitalists even more heartless than you. (slavery much?) You capitalize on cheap labor abroad, you market relentlessly, you use your devices' exclusionary technologies to shut competitors out of the market. Basically you're a hard-nosed bastard.

So when my iPhone got water damaged, I was shocked at your policy. $600 to replace it? I was furious. You wouldn't even let me buy a refurb, which I was willing to do. This seemed foolish - you have a product and ready supply, and what's more as long as i've got that product, I'm a steady revenue stream for you with monthly bills, music, and applications. How insane that you'd essentially force me to leave the iFold as it were. And I did, I bummed a blackberry from work and got on with life. Missed that iPhone though, because it really is an amazing gadget.

Well apparently you woke up to the fact that 4/5th's of the world's surface is water, because you changed your policy. I'd already thought in my head that my pain point for replacement was $200 - beyond that was just too pricey. And what do you know, that's exactly the price of replacing a water-damaged iPhone now. I went and did it, and I'm not sorry, though I'm still pretty mad at the German fuckanados who knocked me into the Pacific with their clumsy sailing, and I'm in awe of your heartless capitalistic skill at siphoning out the exact maximum amount of dollars I'd be willing to spend.

Congratulations on seeing reason, and yet doing it in a way that proves you're still willing to kick puppies, as long as dollars come out.

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