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Crippled Sack of Pudding

I've never undergone anything that could be described as a medical procedure. I've done physical therapy for my separated shoulder and for plantar fasciitis, but in the end neither really worked. I was taken to the hospital once, after the house burned down and I had to go back in to get "RealPyrateKing" out. But even there they just hooked me up to a Voight-Kampff Machine-esque device to breathe stuff into my lungs for a bit, and bounced me out. With all my brushes with death and various accidents, I've never really been injured. Thus, I've never needed any particularly serious medical intervention.

All that's about to change tomorrow. About when I started doing Scarlet Pimpernel, which it's hard to believe but was almost two years ago already, I developed plantar fasciitis. This is a very painful condition - which at first I thought was bone spurs in my heels. But it turned out it's an attenuation and inflammation of the plantar ligament, which connects the heel and the ball of my foot. Most people only get it in one foot, but I got it in both. Walking became very painful. The condition gradually worsened. At first it was just the first few steps after I'd been sitting or still for a while that would hurt, but eventually it got more steady. I spent much of my time back stage at Pimpernel sitting on a bench, just trying to keep off my feet.

Eventually I went to a doctor, got referred to a podiatrist, and started physical therapy for plantar fasciitis. I did that for six months and got fitted for orthotic inserts in my shoes. The worst case, the podiatrist said, was that I'd need cortisone injections in my heels to bring the swelling down and relieve the pain. Eventually, this I did. It was extraordinarily painful despite local anaesthetic. It seemed to help, but not much - and a few months later I ruptured both of my fasciia ligaments. Both! This was serious indeed, but due to a change in my insurance had to go to a new podiatrist. He had the orthotic inserts refit, and I was in a cast for a while. He said it would heal on its own, but it would take about a year.

Now, a year after that long process. the pain is worse than ever and the condition has deteriorated still further. The pain is unmanageable, and its profoundly affected my life. I can no longer run, surf, go hiking, do Aikido, yoga, or any of the many other things I did for exercise. Naturally I've steadily gained weight, too - because I've been insufficiently careful about what I eat, and not compensated with adequate other forms of exercise. It's been a serious drag, what with the pain, with my reduced mobility, and with the stress and irritation this causes pyr8queen, who by nature has an activity level somewhere between "deranged hummingbird" and "crazed weasel".

So tomorrow I put an end to this. I've become a gimpy sack of suet, in the worst physical condition I've ever been in my life. I can't walk long distances and I get short of breath entirely too easily. My legs aren't strong, I'm fat, and I'm terribly terribly out of shape - which I can not abide, and makes me very mad at myself for not being diligent despite having something to overcome. Far more have overcome far worse with far greater obstacles - I'm disgusted with my own slide into becoming so sedentary. Tomorrow, I go for a procedure called "extra corporeal shockwave therapy" - which while it sounds like the experiment that created the Fantastic Four, is actually using sonic waves to ebrade the ligament without piercing or cutting the outer skin. This will create a scoring in the ligament so that it can expand and heal - as well as perhaps have some immediate and desirable deadening of the nerves around the fasciia. I'll be entirely off my feet for just a little while, and supposedly within 4 to 6 weeks, ready to begin (slowly) getting back into shape and doing exercise again.

I'm more than a little bit nervous. I've never been through anything like this before. If it doesn't work the last alternative will be a more invasive surgery, with a longer and more difficult recovery.

I really, really want this phase of my life to be over, so I can start doing the things that make me fit and happy. I'm so tired of the constant pain, weight, and lack of activity.

Also, I totally hope I get superpowers.


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 10th, 2009 07:17 am (UTC)
I wanna be there when the polarity reverses and the sonic waves turn you into the next iteration of The Flash.

Mar. 10th, 2009 07:39 am (UTC)
I'll be sending you good juju!
Mar. 10th, 2009 10:23 am (UTC)
Good luck dear! Thinking about you and sending healing vibes your way!! HUGS
Mar. 10th, 2009 01:11 pm (UTC)
Good luck, hope everything goes well!
Mar. 10th, 2009 01:34 pm (UTC)
So, like, what super powers do you want?
Mar. 10th, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
Well, either to be able to project shockwaves from my feet, or maybe to use the vibration of the molecules of my feet to make them more or less friction-y, as I choose. That way I could slide along like skating, or walk up walls.
Mar. 10th, 2009 02:31 pm (UTC)
Super powers would be so cool! I am sending good thoughts your way!!
Mar. 10th, 2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
i'll keep my fingers crossed that it works! and, of course, for the superpowers. but you have to promise to use them for good. or at least, well, interesting stuff.
Mar. 10th, 2009 03:27 pm (UTC)
Sending thoughts your way, for healing AND for superpowers alike!
Mar. 10th, 2009 05:33 pm (UTC)
Don't be nervous- you won't remember any of it afterwards, anyway. (Versed is a marvelous drug!) Will they be doing a general anesthetic or IV sedation?

Mar. 10th, 2009 08:18 pm (UTC)
Neither - it was strictly local. The shots (three per foot) hurt more than the procedure, basically.
Mar. 10th, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
Ah! You're already done, then! Let the healing begin!

And, just between us, I think you can still safely say that you have never really had a medical procedure. I mean come on! You didn't get knocked out, intubated, cut or sutured. Although (as you know) lidocaine does sting like a bee going in!

So how soon do you suppose the super powers will manifest themselves?

Mar. 10th, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC)
The doctor said sometime between tonight and tomorrow the powers will manifest.
Mar. 10th, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)
Best of luck with the operation. I've had serious surgery on one of my legs, and after a long period of enforced inactivity I bounced back to normal (plus a totally kickass scar).

Enjoy your superpowers.
Mar. 10th, 2009 07:41 pm (UTC)
I hope this is the beginning of a happy and healthy you. It truly sucks to be immobilized by an injury or illness.

And I have no doubt that you will make it out of there with some sort of super powers. :)
Mar. 10th, 2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Ah, hope all went well! And that your superpowers develop quickly!
Mar. 10th, 2009 11:38 pm (UTC)
He was really brave. At several points in the procedure I could tell that it really hurt (or WOULD have really hurt one of us mortal folks) but all he did was say to the doctor, "That's a bit smarty." And I had to say to the doctor, "I think that means it hurts."
Mar. 11th, 2009 09:43 pm (UTC)
Glad to hear it went off without a hitch. The operation, that is. Not your gait. Now you can put your best foot forward from here on out, stop toeing the line and take that giant leap into the Great Unknown with verve and vigor. Here's hoping you make great strides in your recovery.


Mar. 11th, 2009 09:47 pm (UTC)
That was more painful than the procedure...
Mar. 12th, 2009 03:34 am (UTC)
*insert rimshot here*
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )