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Put another way

Let's say I've got a friend (I do!) and this particular friend wants to have sex with a mentally unstable (but not dangerous) woman in a committed relationship. He persuades her to do so, and she betrays her boyfriend to have sex with this friend. This friend has no intention of an ongoing relationship with the woman - he just wants sex, and tells her so all along.

Obviously she's morally (or ethically, if you prefer) culpable for betraying a trust. Is the friend who had sex with her morally or ethically culpable for a wrong act, and if so - what?


Aug. 2nd, 2008 01:27 am (UTC)
Because Dave likes awful things? Because he can't bear to be separated from my radiant manly aura? Because I'll still talk to him after eight years?

This whole discussion sprang out of a discussion that he and I were having about a real-life situation that bears about as much resemblance to Dave's hypothetical as The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen comic does with the abortion of a film that it spawned, but the heart of his version of the issue -- and mine -- is the question of whether or not it's wrong to be the "other man" (or woman, though I'd personally have real trouble being the other woman).

My contention that as long as 1) you're honest about your intentions and in your methods, 2) you're not friends with the cuckoldee and 3) you don't have any reason to think that your partner-in-lust is incapable of making adult decisions, you're not ethically culpable for the fact that she may or may not be betraying her partner's trust. You, after all, are not betraying anyone -- you're acting with scrupulous honesty towards all parties with whom you are interacting.

Dave's contention is that by being complicit in her unethical act, you yourself are committing an unethical act.

Edited at 2008-08-02 01:28 am (UTC)
Aug. 2nd, 2008 01:32 am (UTC)
So... if you voted for George Bush, are you complicit in his unethical acts? What about the unethical acts of his appointees?

Aug. 2nd, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
Can you restate your question using an analogy that involves commercial pig farming?
Aug. 2nd, 2008 02:33 am (UTC)
LMAO... aren't they similar enough already?
Aug. 2nd, 2008 06:14 am (UTC)
Okay, let's say you're a butcher, and you are eyeing this farmer's pigs... but the pig farmer already has an exclusive contract with this other butcher across town.

You decide you like those pigs well enough to convince the farmer to sell you some pigs...

And the farmer, being no dummy, just ups his pig output so that everyone gets a taste, and he's putting his kids through college.

So the real question is, if everyone is happy eating bacon, why don't they keep quiet about it?

Aug. 2nd, 2008 02:48 am (UTC)
The comparison's a bad one, here, because Bush supporter didn't know what Bush's specific unethical acts were going to be, and they didn't have the same control over participating in them. (And some of them apparently don't judge his acts unethical...)

In this case, the person in question knows what the unethical act is, and is the pivotal in making that act happen.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 02:35 am (UTC)
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Dave's moral judgement on this one.

While you are being honest with the parties you are interacting with, you are complicit in another's unethical behavior; that's got to rub off somehow.

Aug. 2nd, 2008 05:45 am (UTC)
...that's got to rub off somehow.

Hopefully, not on the sheets!

Aug. 2nd, 2008 04:32 pm (UTC)
Why is it hard to believe you'd agree with me?
Aug. 2nd, 2008 05:01 pm (UTC)
Generaly speaking, I do agree with you in such debates. However, there is a quote from B4D that I think is apt when it comes to agreeing with you in an ethical debate-

"I still think she should have eaten the baby." LOL. I'm only kidding, but all the same, it strikes me as funny to say I agree with your moral judgement.....
Aug. 2nd, 2008 05:56 pm (UTC)
HAHA! Ok, well, that's a petard that I hoisted a long time ago, that is only now finding it's mark. A totally fair point.

And yeah, she should have eaten the baby.


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