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Put another way

Let's say I've got a friend (I do!) and this particular friend wants to have sex with a mentally unstable (but not dangerous) woman in a committed relationship. He persuades her to do so, and she betrays her boyfriend to have sex with this friend. This friend has no intention of an ongoing relationship with the woman - he just wants sex, and tells her so all along.

Obviously she's morally (or ethically, if you prefer) culpable for betraying a trust. Is the friend who had sex with her morally or ethically culpable for a wrong act, and if so - what?


Aug. 1st, 2008 11:51 pm (UTC)
It may or may not. :)
Aug. 1st, 2008 11:55 pm (UTC)
I think the most egregiously unethical aspect of the situation was the having sex with a mentally unstable woman. How unstable are we talking about?

If he misled her about his intentions (telling her he cared about her and wanted a relationship when he very much did not), then he's culpable for that. If he was honest about his intentions and desires with her, and if she made this decision freely... like I told yags, it's definitely shady but I hesitate to call it wrong. Of course, there are certain aspects in this scenario that are not present in the pigs scenario - notably, honesty about intentions and sleeping with someone who is mentally unstable.
Aug. 1st, 2008 11:57 pm (UTC)
Assume her instability is nuttiness, and not the kind that requires a helmet. Further, that he is perfectly forthright about his intention to only have sex with her, and want or accept no further attachment.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:00 am (UTC)
If I am simply an eccentric individual, and not someone who needs therapy or medication (i.e., a competent adult), and I choose to betray a previous commitment to fuck someone who has made it clear that all he wants from me is sex... the responsibility is mostly mine.

That being said, something about the whole scenario bothered me, and I just now was able to put it into words. The man with whom she cheated actively facilitated and encouraged deception and betrayal. And that's what's unethical on his part.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:02 am (UTC)
(I've never said the woman doing the cheating isn't the one to whom the majority of blame attaches. Only that she's not along in doing wrong.)
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
I know, but the parceling out of individual responsibility was how I arrived at my conclusion :) It was more thinking out loud than anything else.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)
Hm. Assume the man with whom she cheated knows nothing of deception or betrayal. I mean, for all he knows she's telling the boyfriend. Or maybe she isn't. The point is, it doesn't matter to him either way.

So in this case indifference is wrong?
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:05 am (UTC)
Persuading someone to betray a trust isn't indifference.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
I meant indifference to the guy, not indifference to the whole situation.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:13 am (UTC)
That only implies a lack of malice, not a lack of knowledge of right and wrong.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:14 am (UTC)
It speaks to the motivations, only - which I've said all along are solely selfish sexual gratification. I never meant to imply any pleasure or gain was derived from the suffering of the betrayed boyfriend.
Aug. 2nd, 2008 12:06 am (UTC)
Yes. Indifference is the coward's way out. He didn't ask because he didn't want to know the answer, because then he *would* have been responsible for actively encouraging the betrayal if it turned out she wasn't in an open relationship.


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