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Getting Older

I fell off of a mountain once, and after catching my breath, just climbed back up. The incident caused the spontaneous religious conversion of one of the soldiers in my squad who witnessed it. I was run over by an Abrams tank, struck by lightning, shot, and been in countless car, motorcycle and other accidents. Never with a scratch - not a mark.

But suddenly I'm mortal. Separated my shoulder a few years ago, and that just seemed to break the spell - plantar fasciitis, ruptured ligaments dancing, illnesses. This weekend I spent running around in the woods like I have on so many other weekends in the past - but this time I'm perilously sore. Six years in the Army and I never once got a tick, but this time I found one buried smack over my heart. Digging the little blighter out was painful, of course his head snapped off and I had to carve it out with a razor blade. With my recent luck, I've now got lyme disease! I'm exhausted, my feet are two lumps of agony, all my muscles are sore, and I have a huge black wound over my heart.

Lord love a duck; when I did I become mortal?


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
Well damn, I knew we shouldn't have let that guy smear his blood over the Aztec gold...

Do get better soon.
Mar. 24th, 2008 03:15 am (UTC)
Sorry man. I felt the same way when I found out about my hip earlier last week...it sucks being 35 and in burning pain from walking up the stairs.
Mar. 24th, 2008 05:42 am (UTC)
I was planning to have myself a crisis about getting older, but then J was still busy having *his* crisis and when it finally got around to being my turn, I wasn't in the mood anymore.

Because something important occured to me right about then: You get older if you're lucky.
Mar. 24th, 2008 10:41 am (UTC)
My mother has a similar saying anytime someone complains about getting older...

"It's better than the alternative..."

Mar. 24th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
That tick could have been waiting for YEARS to mesh with you, and you carve him out with a razor blade?

Sorry about the getting older, but just think, in a few years you could look like the wizard in the Alltel commercials!
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
Ah, it happens to the best of us, kiddo!
Mar. 24th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
Time has no mercy. *emo sigh*

(BTW, I thought my husband was possibly the only person on earth who actually uses the phrase "Lord love a duck" lol.)
Mar. 24th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
Lyme's isn't too bad, if you catch it early. I had it in high school. All you have to do is take antiobiotics, and let them take blood every so often for a month or two to make sure they got rid of it. Just keep an eye on the bite site and if you get any kind of a rash or inflammation, go in and get tested. They always tell you to look for the bull's-eye or a ring, but mine never made a ring, the back of my knee just got swollen.
Mar. 25th, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
you'll get better and get your invincibility back. There just happened to be more kyptonite in those woods. Or whatever it is Captain America was weak against...
Mar. 25th, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC)
Or whatever it is Captain America was weak against...

the Bush administration, apparently.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )