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Getting Older

I fell off of a mountain once, and after catching my breath, just climbed back up. The incident caused the spontaneous religious conversion of one of the soldiers in my squad who witnessed it. I was run over by an Abrams tank, struck by lightning, shot, and been in countless car, motorcycle and other accidents. Never with a scratch - not a mark.

But suddenly I'm mortal. Separated my shoulder a few years ago, and that just seemed to break the spell - plantar fasciitis, ruptured ligaments dancing, illnesses. This weekend I spent running around in the woods like I have on so many other weekends in the past - but this time I'm perilously sore. Six years in the Army and I never once got a tick, but this time I found one buried smack over my heart. Digging the little blighter out was painful, of course his head snapped off and I had to carve it out with a razor blade. With my recent luck, I've now got lyme disease! I'm exhausted, my feet are two lumps of agony, all my muscles are sore, and I have a huge black wound over my heart.

Lord love a duck; when I did I become mortal?

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
nephandi
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:30 am (UTC)
Well damn, I knew we shouldn't have let that guy smear his blood over the Aztec gold...

Do get better soon.
ebenstone
Mar. 24th, 2008 03:15 am (UTC)
Sorry man. I felt the same way when I found out about my hip earlier last week...it sucks being 35 and in burning pain from walking up the stairs.
blanchemains
Mar. 24th, 2008 05:42 am (UTC)
I was planning to have myself a crisis about getting older, but then J was still busy having *his* crisis and when it finally got around to being my turn, I wasn't in the mood anymore.

Because something important occured to me right about then: You get older if you're lucky.
anisette_toast
Mar. 24th, 2008 10:41 am (UTC)
My mother has a similar saying anytime someone complains about getting older...

"It's better than the alternative..."

:)
tara62
Mar. 24th, 2008 12:44 pm (UTC)
That tick could have been waiting for YEARS to mesh with you, and you carve him out with a razor blade?

Sorry about the getting older, but just think, in a few years you could look like the wizard in the Alltel commercials!
befers
Mar. 24th, 2008 02:43 pm (UTC)
Ah, it happens to the best of us, kiddo!
regina_of_york
Mar. 24th, 2008 04:16 pm (UTC)
Time has no mercy. *emo sigh*



(BTW, I thought my husband was possibly the only person on earth who actually uses the phrase "Lord love a duck" lol.)
dalriada42
Mar. 24th, 2008 09:18 pm (UTC)
Lyme's isn't too bad, if you catch it early. I had it in high school. All you have to do is take antiobiotics, and let them take blood every so often for a month or two to make sure they got rid of it. Just keep an eye on the bite site and if you get any kind of a rash or inflammation, go in and get tested. They always tell you to look for the bull's-eye or a ring, but mine never made a ring, the back of my knee just got swollen.
dhin
Mar. 25th, 2008 11:13 pm (UTC)
you'll get better and get your invincibility back. There just happened to be more kyptonite in those woods. Or whatever it is Captain America was weak against...
aghrivaine
Mar. 25th, 2008 11:15 pm (UTC)
Or whatever it is Captain America was weak against...

the Bush administration, apparently.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )