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Windy Dayz, Hobo Nightz

So windy today, I couldn't even fire up the grill for some beer-can BBQ chicken. All day I'm looking at the porch, all whistful-like. But no abatement - it's still howling out there.

After running various errands I came home still starving, so I walked down the street to rustle up some dinner. There's a little restaurant/bar called Nikki's, but as soon as I sat down the waitress said, "Oh, that tables reserved." So I asked which table would be okay and she said, "Oh, they're all reserved. Private party at nine." This was at eight, mind you. I was more than a little peeved, and walked out.

On my way out a very drunken woman asks me what I'm reading. "Two Years Before The Mast," says I. (Which was true.) She looked surprised. "Oh, wow, I saw you sitting there reading, and thought you were just another homeless guy with a book."

Now c'mon. Ok, I'm wearing my fairly disreputable looking pirate sweat-shirt, but I had on a pretty expensive pair of Docs for shoes, and nice pants. Yes my hair was all wind-blown, but so was everyone! Certainly this is the first time I've ever been mistaken for homeless. Sheesh. Guess that explains the "private party" nonsense.

Homeless, indeed. They'll see, one day, when I send my Doomsday Squads back to teach them a lesson!

Comments

( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
joemorf
Mar. 16th, 2008 09:25 am (UTC)
Take a cue from the book and hurl an animal skin at her - either one, don't make any difference... they could benefit from a stiff hide to the kisser!

~j
tara62
Mar. 16th, 2008 04:40 pm (UTC)
What fuckers! You should have squigglefucked them larboard or something like that.
aghrivaine
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:09 pm (UTC)
I'm not familiar with "squigglefucking". How does that work, exactly?
tara62
Mar. 16th, 2008 10:11 pm (UTC)
I was using some verbage half-remembered from Red Seas Under Red Skies.
arya
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:28 pm (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that my expensive Swiss Army laptop bag is the only thing that keeps people from thinking I'm homeless. I'm doing well to put on real pants in the morning.
aghrivaine
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:34 pm (UTC)
... do you have false pants to put on, instead?
arya
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:36 pm (UTC)
Pseudopants.
aghrivaine
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:38 pm (UTC)
Ah. A 4d hit-die creature type!
arya
Mar. 16th, 2008 05:41 pm (UTC)
Naw, they're monstrous and therefore have d8's for hit dice.

It's like how some protozoans have pseudopods? I have pseudopants.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )

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monkey pirate
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