Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

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(Subject totally stolen from Mouserobot)

The PT for my plantar fasciitis hasn't worked very well. The doctor finally received approval for a procedure wherein cortisone is injected directly to the plantar fasciis. He was reluctant to do it because, as he said, the procedure is excessively painful- though it's almost universally effective.

He wasn't kidding. It was the second most painful thing ever to happen to me, and far and away the most painful thing I ever did to myself on purpose. It involved taking a very high gauge needle, strong enough to punch through the tough calluses of the heel, and inserting it ....mmm, basically right up to the heelbone, through the heel. Inject a little cortisone. Pull out half-way, re-insert into the tendon - inject a little more. Repeat.

Most people, apparently, only get this in one foot, too - I being the first lucky bloke to have it done in both for quite a few years, according to the doc. It hurt like the blazes, and just thinking about it now is sending waves of sympathetic ouch up from my trotters. He claims he injected some local anaesthetic with the cortisone - which is effective at masking the pain from the needle puncture wound, but not the procedure itself.

The worst part - once he was done with one foot, he had to move on to the other. When I could anticipate exactly how much it was going to hurt. Look, I'm a fairly tough guy, and I've had some pretty hard knocks from time to time - falling off of a mountain, run over by a tank, had a tree fall on my head - stuff like that. Always shrugged it off, and if it hurt, just work right past it. My Aikido teacher used to tell his junior instructors that when doing a technique on "Dave-san" (that's me) to make it hurt a lot more than they were perhaps comfortable doing normally, because I was "Pain-guided as a best teaching tool." What I'm saying is, my level of tolerance for pain is pretty high - and I've been living with almost constant crippling agony in my feet for the past several months.

But this topped my pain-meter. I used every trick I knew of to focus past it - looked away, concentrated on a different body part that wasn't hurting, imagined as vividly as possible something else, and something pleasurable. (And she's probably reading this....) It was only nominally successful - I broke out in a sweat, and my head seemed to be separated from the bottom half of my body. That's troubling, because the bottom half of my body has some of my favorite bits on it! Fortunately, that didn't last.

I limped out of the office, and though my heel was numb, I knew in my bones it was going to hurt like hell later. The doc assured me the numbness would last eight to ten hours, plenty of time to get through rehearsal and make it home. He lied, the blackguard! It wore off much sooner, basically on my way to rehearsal, and as a result I was mostly useless last night, having a hard time concentrating on anything. Limping from my car to home was an ordeal that took more concentration and resolve than say - any triathlon I've ever done.

Today I can tip-toe, but putting my heels in contact with the earth is clearly not a good idea. Fortunately once the track wounds heal up, I'll supposedly be done with this for good. Which means I can get back to running, bike-riding, swimming, surfing - all the stuff I haven't done, and all of which has taken a toll on my body and morale. I am extremely relieved to be done with this, and sincerely hope it is never necessary again.

Sadly, the condition is such that it's highly likely it WILL be necessary again, though I can only hope it's many years to come. Or fuck it, I'm just going to get a peg-leg, pirate-style!

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