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Crotch, feet

I have had a hell of a day. It started with hellacious traffic, then more hellacious traffic to a doctor's office - where a large black man operated on my crotch with a scalpel, and then a laser. Repeat, this morning - someone used a laser on my groin.

Then more hellacious traffic - and then even more hellacious traffic, to another doctor's office where I had my feet x-rayed, folded, spindled and mutliated. Then taped up. I have hairy feet. This won't be much fun coming off. What's worse - I have to do it three times a week for three weeks, and in the mean time, I can't surf or swim. It is 80% likely to be temporarily effective - if it doesn't work, it's surgery with a subsequent period of immobility. It's better than straight to surgery, though. And it turns out it's definitely plantar fasciitis.

To top it off my replacement cell phone did not arrive today, and upon calling to find out about it - the company closed the order, charged me, but did not bother sending the phone out.

It could be a lot worse, but ... I've certainly had better days. Certainly none that involved anyone using a laser on my crotch. Oh the indignity.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 27th, 2007 12:32 am (UTC)
Yikes. Could you look at it like your crotch is so powerful that only a laser would do?
Jun. 27th, 2007 12:34 am (UTC)
Not really. Also, despite my request, the podiatrist would not give me a peg-leg.
Jun. 27th, 2007 12:40 am (UTC)
Hmm. In that case, I hope your crotch (because "crotch" is much funnier than "groin") recovers quickly from its lasering.

And what the hell is wrong with that podiatrist?! What a buffoon, denying you the peg-leg.
Jun. 27th, 2007 12:43 am (UTC)
Totally. At least he had the good sense to keep the Green Kryptonite locked up in a lead box. (I asked.)
Jun. 27th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
Wow, so is it actually appropriate to say "sorry about your penis" here?
Did I miss a post somewhere? Why in HELL were they lasering your crotch? I'm assuming this wasn't depiliatory... *snort*

Good luck w/ the feet. fenriss or another massage therapist (or a sports medicine type) might have good suggestions for stretches and such to deal with that particular issue -- I seem to recall her talking to several people about it in the past.

At any rate, I hope all your extremities are healed up nicely, soon!
Jun. 27th, 2007 12:46 am (UTC)
Re: Wow, so is it actually appropriate to say "sorry about your penis" here?
I've been doing the relevant stretches, and it didn't really help. It's a tendon thing, not a muscle thing - and there's too much stress on the tendon. Apparently it just has to be strapped up tight and allowed to heal for a while.

If I haven't mentioned why my crotch was getting lasered, it's entirely intentional. (And I haven't.) The fact of it, in and of itself, is titillating enough.

Jun. 27th, 2007 12:50 am (UTC)
Re: Wow, so is it actually appropriate to say "sorry about your penis" here?
Yikes! I hope the taping/resting/healing works. Seems like ultimately it's worth missing the fun stuff, but I can see how it'd be frustrating. I'll send you all the good vibes I can.

Sorry, I wasn't trying to pry. Understandable curiosity, I think. >;) Good luck with WHATEVER it is. I have my suspicions. >:D
Jun. 27th, 2007 01:28 am (UTC)
I bet that I can guess what you had done. (The applications for lasers in that area are rather limited, after all. And I seriously doubt you have an enlarged prostate.)

Um... I guess that puts you out of The Game for a while?

Plantar fasciitis hurts, I agree.

Jun. 27th, 2007 06:57 am (UTC)
Man, James Bond escapes from groin lasers. You take that shit. Ergo, Davy > James fucking Bond.

Hm, I hope these various surgeries will not prevent you from engaging in weekend geekery?
Jun. 28th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
Yeah, I had my third and fourth testicles dissolved, too. Sucky procedure, but you'll be glad you did it. ;)

Good luck with the feet!
Jun. 28th, 2007 04:44 pm (UTC)
I’ll take Penis Mightier for $500 Alex.
I know you are really into the surfing thing but seriously you didn’t have to shorten your penis with a laser to reduce wind resistance. That is what the full body wet suit is for! But you will have to explain why it looks like you have an eel in your wet suit. :P

Jun. 28th, 2007 05:21 pm (UTC)
Re: I’ll take Penis Mightier for $500 Alex.
I'm just tired of it dropping down into the toilet water when I sit down to drop a deuce.
Jun. 29th, 2007 03:39 pm (UTC)
Re: I’ll take Penis Mightier for $500 Alex.
That is when you throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier! LMAO
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )