Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two
aghrivaine

  • Mood:

Law Suits

A list of law suits that I would like to make:

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. Ben & Jerry - their ice cream is too damned delicious for my good health, particularly vis. Cinnamon Bun Ice Cream, Stephen Colbert's Ameri-cone Dream, and Creme Brulee

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. monkeys - for being too damned funny

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. the Pacific Ocean for nut-slapping without hope of retaliation

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. the gypsies - for taking all the good parking spots and never moving their car-homes. Also probably stealing my bike.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) for excessive moodiness and sundry health issues

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. bactera - for infecting my eye

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. my cat - for steppnig on my head in the morning and causing loss of sleep

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. TSA - for stealing my toothpaste on several occasions

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. the month of June - for excessive cloud cover in the Los Angeles area

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. you - for wasting time and productivity reading this

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. World of Warcraft. Just because.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. ninjas - slander against pirates

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. Mark Burnett Productions - for not calling me back about "Pirate Master"

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. grrm for writing too slowly. Also never reading my script.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. nephandi for using too much alliteration

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. crapdaddy's room-mate Rob, for promising to run Dungeons and Dragons, but not actually doing it.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. Los Angeles for unrealistic body image expectations.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. girls for not liking smart boys.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. for aging

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. Tony Stark for being a tool

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. Marvel Comics for killing Captain America

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) v. Captain America for going out like a chump.

  • David Krieger (U.S. Army SGT, retired) & Robert Poteete, esq v. The Police - for watching every move I make.


More will develop as time progresses, I am sure.
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