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Bring back the bombast!

Wouldn't it be nice, if, at will we could lapse into high-Tolkien cant, or Shakespearian language? As it is, I'm stuck with this whole California-modern "I talk" nonsense, only allowed to talk about how something makes me feel, instead of just calling a cad a cad, a bounder a bounder, and a blackguard a blackguard. Alas, there's no place for bombast in everyday discourse. But if there was -- well, I imagine when I asked out that cute girl for drinks, and was refused onaccounta her having a boyfriend who "would be very upset" - I might have had something like this:

"What care I for the will and preference of one such as he? Disregard him, or know that pleasures undreamt of by all but a fortunate few will pass you by, as the leaf that tumbles down river in a mighty torrent passes the shore - and glimpsing it, wish to be there."

Instead of, as was the actual case, apologizing and then avoiding eye-contact and changing the way I walk around the office so as not to bump into her. Yep, definitely like the bombast, better.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
blanchemains
May. 9th, 2007 11:04 pm (UTC)
Can I just tell you how sick I am of the California-modern "I Talk"?

J insists that any argumentative or critical thing I have to say to him be framed as a statement of how his actions make *me* feel. This, you might guess, is infuriating.

You're right. Sometimes bombast is just the thing.
aghrivaine
May. 9th, 2007 11:10 pm (UTC)
Sonja, I have to tell you, that when you talk to me like this, it makes me feel very concerned for your state of mind. Also, I feel encouraged by your accomplishments of late, and that makes me feel like good things are on the way for you. I feel that those good things that will happen to you, will make you happier which will make me feel happy.
blanchemains
May. 9th, 2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
Smartass.
aghrivaine
May. 9th, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
It makes me feel amused when you say that.
elanya
May. 10th, 2007 12:19 am (UTC)
You sound like a horoscope!
mandyly1977
May. 10th, 2007 02:02 am (UTC)
Italk sounds terrible. I mentally added another reason to the list of why I won't ever move to California :p

I would LOVE it if you only spoke to me in bombast next time I see you :p
toast3r
May. 10th, 2007 02:43 pm (UTC)
Dude. You really need to do "Ask a Pirate."

Subject: How to Bombast.



( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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