There really needs to be "ask a pirate" because Ask a Ninja is consitently pretty much awesome.

Great lines from Ask a Ninja: "The actual Salma Hayak you see in the movies is a chupacabra with a boob job." "My grandmother always said 'stab first..' Actually I don't know what the second part was because I stabbed her. Miss you Gramma!" "Ben Franklin is another person who made it through the ninternship program. A lot of people underestimate the deadliness of Ben Franklin, but pull out a hundred dollar bill, look him in the eyes, and you'll see the deadliest blue eyes ever to be framed by a mullet."We don't want you flipping out. Though, actually, flipping out is a really important part of being a Ninja." "Hidey's Disease is when a ninja is so stealthy he beings to doubt his own existence." "Deathchilada style, that's when you rip off the epidermal layer, chop up the insides, wrap that stuff back in the skin, and drizzle it with blood. And a three cheese blend. And it comes with a side of guac."