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Surf Chicken on the Wing

Sadly, misskitty14 is putting out to sea to plunder the Spanish Main work on a cruise ship. This is lamentable for all, and tragic for others. But the bright spot is, she deeded me her surfboard. It's a 10 foot tall, black monstrosity that she calls "The Ladies Man".

I can't even fit the Ladies Man in my apartment, standing up - the cielings aren't even that tall. I'm getting a rack that will let me stow him up out of the way on the wall, but until then, it's a bit like I have an Easter Island menhir leaning over my dining room table. I am, by the way, a wretched surfer. My first day out, I got down to the beach and hadn't even put TLM in the water before I hurt myself. I jammed him point down in the sand to stand him up for a sec while I zipped up my wetsuit - and jammed the point right into my left foot. It left a pretty deep gash, and has swollen in a fascinating manner since then. Ippon for Ladies Man!

Once in the water it occurred to me that I was excellent shark bait - what with a bleeding foot. I managed to paddle out to sea, and get the board pointed back towards land, and sort of crouch on top in a wobbly fashion. Alas, I was not attacked by sharks. I say alas, because shark attack is one of the few disasters that I have yet to survive, and it would be nice to get the inevitable out of the way when I am close to home, young, and fit. (Relatively) Another thing I didn't do was quite manage to stand up. First, the surf was fairly flat, and second -- well, yeah. I got up on one knee, and then sort of into a Spider-Man-esque crouch for about a solid second. Thereafter I plunged more or less belly-first into the waiting arms of the Pacific.

There are quite a few waiting arms I'd be only happy to plunge into. And not to take anything away from the Pacific, either - it's a lovely ocean and I believe my affection for it should be pretty clear. I had just hoped to stay free of it for just a second or two longer. Ah well, next time! This time, I sort of flapped my arms and fell, chicken-like. I am a very model of grace and manly beauty - look upon my athletic skill, and quiver, O ye mortal fools!


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 28th, 2007 12:09 am (UTC)
You went in the ocean with an open, bleeding wound on your foot? The Santa Monica Bay? And now it's all swollen?

Imagine that.

You need to clean that out with some betadine scrub (no, not hydrogen peroxide). Really wash it thoroughly. You can find it at Rite Aid or Walgreens. Seriously, don't mess around with it- especially of you got anywhere near a bone.

But surfing! How fun!
Apr. 28th, 2007 01:36 am (UTC)
You are DangerChicken! Well done, freakshow. Keep at it, and you'll burn my ass out of the water in no time! I know Mr Phelps loves being in the drink again.

I'll do some plundering for you while I'm out there. oxoxo
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )


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