This from my old journal at Diaryland, long since abandoned. It was a happy entry that made me smile - and remember ...
Once, eons ago, when Laura and I were first seriously dating...
It was fall, and we went out to Valley Forge park, near where I had grown up. There was a place called "triple hill" because, as you might imagine, it was a series of three rolling hills down a long slope. At the base of the slope was an abutment with a bunch of Revolutionary War cannons. The top of the hill has a small parking lot, and there you can sit, and see the entire valley from your car window. Many times, in the summer especially, I would go out on stormy nights and sit there, and look at the lightning, with my head level with the tops of the clouds.
So Laura and I went out there. She was wearing the sandals she so often wore, the bumpy plastic ones. When she first told me about these via email, she called them her "massagey sandals" which I thought was some sort of Italian designer. In fact, it was really just Loli-speak for "massage-giving" because of the little bumps.
So we walked down Triple Hill and sat on the mound of earth at the cannons, watching the sunset. We kissed, but mostly we just sat together. As night fell it started to get cold, and Laura shivered, so I huddled with her. And I said, "do you want to go in?"
She nodded, mutely. All but chattering. We stood up, and we faced each other, and I looked at her big fawn-brown eyes, and her face limned with orange and red light from the sunset.
And I looked her in the eye for a long moment, and I said "I love you." Which I had never said before, not in those words.
And Laura, who had never told anyone that she loved them, not even her parents... who had told me how difficult she found the notion of speaking those words -- she kissed me and she put her arms on myshoulders and said, "I love you too."
I was taken aback. Quite surprised. We kissed, and it was one of those kisses that I'll remember from time to time and grin. One of those kisses that should goin the scrapbook of magical kisses, which is mostly empty, but I hopeto fill - and look back on someday with great joy in my old age.
And we started to walk back up to the car. And Laura kept getting leaves in her sandals, so I said, "I'll carry you."
And she hopped on my back piggy-back style, and I carried her up that tall, steep hill. Laura is six feet tall, and all muscle. She is incredibly slim, but not light. She was at least 140lbs, but at the time, I was still in the Army, and used to carrying heavy packs over very long distances, and her weight on my back was just... reassuring. Perfect.
She rested her chin on my shoulder as I carried her up that hill. I felt her breath on my ear, and she kissed the spot right behind my ear that sent chills up and down my spine.
Halfway up the hill, she whispered, close, and quietly, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
Today, nine years later, almost exactly.. re-reading that, I can still feel her breath on my neck, hear her whisper in my ear.
Not all loves lost need be remembered with regret.