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I'm Taller Than You

I'm the tallest guy you know. Yeah, I know, you're thinking, "But I know Big Kev. He's seven foot tall!"

Nope, I'm taller. Says so right here on my driver's license - I'm seven foot two. See, the form said "Height" and didn't have a box for feet and inches. Assuming that they didn't want metric system, but did want a single number not separated by diacritical marks, I put 72", which is how tall I was until yesterday.

So when the woman took my form and processed it, she read 72" as 7' 2". She didn't bother noticing that I'm clearly not over seven feet tall. She didn't tumble to the fact that I'd clearly marked my height in inches, rather than feet. She just transposed - so now it's official by act of the duly constituted and authorized legal authority of the California DMV. I'm seven feet, two inches. Way taller'n you, pal.

(P.S. It's an impossibly beautiful day. There's a bright sun and clear skies. It's warm, pleasantly so - the sun on my face was at least as cheering as the Phial of Galadriel. There's a lazy breeze coming in off the Pacific that keeps everything just exactly cool enough. And the ocean was the brightest, lightest shade of blue I've ever seen this morning - lighter than the palest cornflower, more brilliant and clear than the eyes of that girl that you just can't shake because of the way she looked right into you when you were... Ah yes. This is the most perfect day in creation, I nearly think.)


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 6th, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
Okay, I know what fun being a pedant/smartass can be, but I have to ask why you assumed they didn't want diacritical marks.

As for not checking, they're not there to verify, they're there to enter data. You can say you're 7'2" and 85 lbs, if you want, and I imagine it'd go through just fine.
Mar. 6th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
Well, how fun is being a pedant/smartass when your pedantry is unfounded? Each box on the form had a separate box for every character in it, with clear instructions to only put one block-written character in each.

Even weight had three boxes - but height had only two boxes. There were no marks separating those two boxes, as there were elsewhere on the form when it was appropriate - address had "street address" and then a separate set of boxes for "apt number".

The only logical conclusion is that the two boxes represented a single quantity, and not two discrete quantities. The form was, in short, (har har) misleading.
Mar. 7th, 2007 12:05 am (UTC)
Yes, this is stoopid because I, for example, am 5'10". How dare I be three digits tall!
Mar. 7th, 2007 12:08 am (UTC)
You would put 70", of course.

And then you too could be seven feet tall!
Mar. 6th, 2007 10:23 pm (UTC)
And in contrast, this is what I have to look forward to:

So ... I don't have anything to say. Talk to my monkey. :)
Mar. 6th, 2007 10:24 pm (UTC)
Wow. That's abysmal.
Mar. 7th, 2007 06:27 am (UTC)
Well... You *do* fill up a room...
Mar. 7th, 2007 03:11 pm (UTC)
The real question on everyone's mind is: How big are your...feet?
Mar. 7th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
Slightly smaller than my shoes.
Mar. 7th, 2007 11:25 pm (UTC)
So this is the same DMV that wants to charge you again to replace the license that they gave to someone else, right?
Mar. 7th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
The very same.
Mar. 8th, 2007 01:42 am (UTC)
Good thing you didn't use centimeters.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )


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