Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

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Why is crotch-related violence the funniest kind of violence?

I don't know - but just like it's one of the great truths of comedy that farts are funny, a shot to the nuts is almost always hilarious. (The exception being when someone is genuinely hurt - that's never funny.)

Now, I know a bunch of guys - namely daogre, scottgardner and their pal Manu who have been giving each other slaps to the nuts for years. Why? No one knows. But from time to time, one of the just fires off a shot to the sack, and while the victim inevitably curls in a fetal position around his precious, precious jewels and squeaking like a rat in a trap, everyone else has a hearty larf at his expense. Tales of Manu's legendary double-slap to a friend in high school still elicit such gales of hilarity that I actually cried the first time I heard the story. Why is this funny? I don't know. But it is. Some things are just a mystery, I suppose.

There are rules to "the game" (as it's called - perhaps to imbue it with more mystery than is its natural due; or more likely because no one has come up with anything better.) The first rule is - no one is in The Game until they take a shot at someone else. It's almost gentlemanly - the first one's free. After that, fair game! Well, now that I think about it, that's about the only rule. There's sort of an unspoken agreement that serious hits, kicks, or other blunt force trauma are out of bounds - though a hearty slap is entirely acceptable.

Now imagine my surprise when, after joining the cast, I found the lads there - who have no affiliation or connection with the folks out in the Valley also play The Game, using precisely the same rules, and under the same moniker. It's made rehearsal not just hard work, but also fraught with danger. Everyone walks around guarding his genitals - even on stage, while performing. It's gotten out of control - so much so that I just started wearing a cup to rehearsal. This has had a surprisingly liberating effect - where once I might have sidled past a friend, or covered myself with a script or carefully draped sweatshirt - now I stand free and easy, with my groin proudly exposed to the world without fear. (Well, not quite exposed. You know what I mean.) There have been some notable incidents in The Game - like when Frank entered into the festivities with a flying leap death-from-above nutshot to Renee that caused the latter to fall to the ground, making a sound not unlike a baloons squealing as it deflates. This shot was over-the-top, certainly far more fierce than would normally be acceptable. However, no one did anything because A: it was his freebie, and B: it was funny.

Whenever another cast member falls prey to the temptation and enters the fray, people excitedly whisper to each other, "Did you hear? X is in The Game!" It's like another democrat announcing his candidacy for 2008. (Vote for Davy!) I don't understand this phenomenon - and why it's considered socially acceptable. That doesn't stop me from participating, mind you. I've checked with friends back on the East Coast - so far this is entirely a West Coast phenomenon. Maybe that's for the best.

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