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Nutslappin'

Why is crotch-related violence the funniest kind of violence?

I don't know - but just like it's one of the great truths of comedy that farts are funny, a shot to the nuts is almost always hilarious. (The exception being when someone is genuinely hurt - that's never funny.)

Now, I know a bunch of guys - namely daogre, scottgardner and their pal Manu who have been giving each other slaps to the nuts for years. Why? No one knows. But from time to time, one of the just fires off a shot to the sack, and while the victim inevitably curls in a fetal position around his precious, precious jewels and squeaking like a rat in a trap, everyone else has a hearty larf at his expense. Tales of Manu's legendary double-slap to a friend in high school still elicit such gales of hilarity that I actually cried the first time I heard the story. Why is this funny? I don't know. But it is. Some things are just a mystery, I suppose.

There are rules to "the game" (as it's called - perhaps to imbue it with more mystery than is its natural due; or more likely because no one has come up with anything better.) The first rule is - no one is in The Game until they take a shot at someone else. It's almost gentlemanly - the first one's free. After that, fair game! Well, now that I think about it, that's about the only rule. There's sort of an unspoken agreement that serious hits, kicks, or other blunt force trauma are out of bounds - though a hearty slap is entirely acceptable.

Now imagine my surprise when, after joining the cast, I found the lads there - who have no affiliation or connection with the folks out in the Valley also play The Game, using precisely the same rules, and under the same moniker. It's made rehearsal not just hard work, but also fraught with danger. Everyone walks around guarding his genitals - even on stage, while performing. It's gotten out of control - so much so that I just started wearing a cup to rehearsal. This has had a surprisingly liberating effect - where once I might have sidled past a friend, or covered myself with a script or carefully draped sweatshirt - now I stand free and easy, with my groin proudly exposed to the world without fear. (Well, not quite exposed. You know what I mean.) There have been some notable incidents in The Game - like when Frank entered into the festivities with a flying leap death-from-above nutshot to Renee that caused the latter to fall to the ground, making a sound not unlike a baloons squealing as it deflates. This shot was over-the-top, certainly far more fierce than would normally be acceptable. However, no one did anything because A: it was his freebie, and B: it was funny.

Whenever another cast member falls prey to the temptation and enters the fray, people excitedly whisper to each other, "Did you hear? X is in The Game!" It's like another democrat announcing his candidacy for 2008. (Vote for Davy!) I don't understand this phenomenon - and why it's considered socially acceptable. That doesn't stop me from participating, mind you. I've checked with friends back on the East Coast - so far this is entirely a West Coast phenomenon. Maybe that's for the best.

Comments

( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
blanchemains
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:10 pm (UTC)
"...now I stand free and easy, with my groin proudly exposed to the world without fear."


So what you are saying is... I can't bring Elizabeth to see this play?
aghrivaine
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:14 pm (UTC)
read the paranthetical, literal-woman!
blanchemains
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:25 pm (UTC)
I was ignoring the fine print.
yagathai
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:15 pm (UTC)
I blame the Japanese influence on West Coast culture.

KANCHO!
aghrivaine
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
That's what we threatened the girls with when they said they wanted in on the game. I just made the Kancho gesture at Noriko and said, "Ten thousand years of pain!"

That was the end of that.
crapdaddy
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:29 pm (UTC)
The cups are a serious deterrant for my involvement in The Game.

One of these days I may get a good one in though...
nixieq
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
best laugh i've had all day
*snort* i have GOT to ask my roommate about this. he's exactly the type of guy who'd participate in The Game, as is his buddy who was here last month. if they don't know about it, i suspect this could lead to East Coast participation...
aghrivaine
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:51 pm (UTC)
Re: best laugh i've had all day
See? Testicle violence is funny!
nixieq
Mar. 2nd, 2007 10:54 pm (UTC)
Re: best laugh i've had all day
as are farts, yes. just reading the sentence "it's one of the great truths of comedy that farts are funny" made me giggle.
misskitty14
Mar. 2nd, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
*tittering and wiping tears away* Thank you for providing my daily dose of endorphins, m' love.
manywaters
Mar. 2nd, 2007 11:46 pm (UTC)
And this just makes me think of my friend, who earned the nickname Taser Nuts.
aghrivaine
Mar. 2nd, 2007 11:50 pm (UTC)
lol!
manywaters
Mar. 3rd, 2007 12:01 am (UTC)
I only wish I'd been witness to the day a guy yelled across the party, "That's him! That's the guy I was telling you about! THAT'S TASER NUTS!!!"
aghrivaine
Mar. 3rd, 2007 12:04 am (UTC)
That's twice you've made me crack up out loud, and have to explain myself to my coworkers.
manywaters
Mar. 3rd, 2007 12:17 am (UTC)
Excellent. How did they take it?
aghrivaine
Mar. 3rd, 2007 12:17 am (UTC)
Naturally, since it involves violence to testicles, with much laughter.
glamour_junkie
Mar. 4th, 2007 05:37 pm (UTC)
Isn't wearing a cup sorta like cheating? I mean, it just seems like, if everyone else has to keep their gonad-guarding senses sharp and their situational awareness keen, you're kind of putting yourself off your natural game.

Eventually there will be a day you're not wearing a cup, and they'll know it.


Just sayin'.
aghrivaine
Mar. 4th, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)
Cheating...being sane... you know, there's a fine line. (And anyway, I'm not the only one that does it, or could do it)
bakaninja
Mar. 5th, 2007 11:00 pm (UTC)
It does seem unfair. Unless you no longer take shots at anyone and are attempting to retire?
aghrivaine
Mar. 5th, 2007 11:15 pm (UTC)
It would be unfair if no one else had the capability of wearing a cup. They do, but choose not to avail themselves. I can't be held responsible for the foolishness of would-be nutslappers.
dhin
Mar. 5th, 2007 03:38 pm (UTC)
some things attract me to lesbianism
oh boys...
joemorf
Mar. 6th, 2007 09:02 am (UTC)
Oh, shit... does my (purely retaliatory!) shot at Con put me in the game?

~j
aghrivaine
Mar. 6th, 2007 03:55 pm (UTC)
Hmm. The Council will have to take it under advisement. I would guess no, though, since you were unaware of The Game.

On the other hand, nutslapping one of the Dapper Dans would be pretty high comedy...
joemorf
Mar. 6th, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
I make it a point to nutslap one of them at random at least once a week... although I had no idea that there was a game involved.

Hmmm... maybe if we keep quiet about it, they'll never get wise.

~j
aghrivaine
Mar. 6th, 2007 06:08 pm (UTC)
Oh, you're in alright.
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )