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Scamming the Scammers

I'm so annoyed, but I'm going to make the best of it.

I put my old T-Mobile MDA up for sale on Ebay. There's nothing wrong with the phone, and in fact, I wish I could still use it- but I had to switch to Verizon because of the bad reception in Venice. So anyway, the same day I put it up, someone buys it at the "buy it now" price. And... I get an email from this guy in that weird quasi-English so typical of the Nigerian bank scams explaining that this gentleman "Mark R. Smith" is buying the phone to send to his son, who is living in Nigeria. Would I please ship it to him in Nigeria, and then send the bill to Mr. Smith? Peculiar, no? A little research - Mr. Smith has never before conducted any transactions on Ebay, and created his account the day of the auction. He says he works for the Nigerian embassy...but is located in Miami. Nigeria has an embassy in Miami? Doubtful.

Obviously if I'm stupid enough to send the phone, I'll never see it again. I'm tempted to send them something really heavy, postage-due. But instead, I responded that, since I'm so busy overseeing the Hollywood International Upcoming Director's Fund, giving grants of $234,000.00 to $487,000.00 to up-and-coming International film-makers, that I can't ship internationally. It's quite a pity that Mr. Smith's son isn't a would-be director, because then I could send him the phone with his applications packet for the film board grant - providing, of course, that he sends me proof that he is really a film-maker by recording a particular scene that the Board of Trustees has chosen to demonstrate talent.

If he falls for it, I'm going to make him stage an all-Nigerian production of "Creation of Man" from the Scarlet Pimpernel. Then I'll post the video on youtube, for your viewing pleasure.

In the mean time, I'll re-list my phone for sale. Consarn scammers.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 23rd, 2007 06:41 pm (UTC)
Perhaps you could get Mr Mark Smith to cash that check I got for winning the Irish Random Lotto? How cool would that be? We could do a reverse Nigerian scheme by getting your scammer to attempt to collect money from my scammer.

Feb. 23rd, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
Hmm. That would be pretty danged funny.
Feb. 23rd, 2007 06:49 pm (UTC)
if you haven't already, you might want to report the account to ebay. i'm sure it won't do a lot of good, but it seems like the thing to do.
Feb. 23rd, 2007 06:50 pm (UTC)
Oh of course. But first, the fish has to take the bait.
Feb. 23rd, 2007 08:06 pm (UTC)
One of my favorite things about you is how you send letters to businesses and how you handle things like this.

You're a rock star.
Feb. 23rd, 2007 09:33 pm (UTC)
You're a rock star.

In that case, send three groupies and a mount of blow to my room, immediately. Better make it four, I'm in a mood.
Feb. 26th, 2007 05:33 pm (UTC)
Have I ever told you that you are brilliant???
Feb. 26th, 2007 05:34 pm (UTC)
From time to time, but not nearly often enough. :)
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


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