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worth a shot...

My ad on match.com:

2/3 pirate, 1/3 geek.
SWP (single white pirate) seeks lovely adventurous playmate for various combinations of the three naval traditions. (match wouldn't let me say the one other than rum and the lash...but if you know what I'm talking about... pick any two.)  Must love: scurvy, sea-sickness and comic books. Must loathe: Republicans, plastics, and that blasted pirate-hunter, Captain Hardworthy. I'll get him one day. Please have your own parrot, peg-leg, eyepatch, hook or monkey, as you see fit. Rum, lime and adventure provided. Also romantic sea-chanties. As long as you think "what do you do with a drunken sailor" is romantic.

Any woman who responds to that is clearly a good match for me.


( 21 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 20th, 2006 07:46 pm (UTC)
tee hee hee... if i weren't off the market permanently (in more than one way), i'd definitely give that a second look!

good luck!
Dec. 20th, 2006 07:47 pm (UTC)
Excellent, i've found my target audience! Hipster Lesbians!
Dec. 20th, 2006 10:55 pm (UTC)
Woot! Although if it makes you feel better, the part of me that responds most strongly to the ad is the "hipster" part as opposed to the "lesbian" part. :P
Dec. 20th, 2006 10:58 pm (UTC)
So I gathered. :)
Dec. 21st, 2006 01:04 am (UTC)
I am the Master of the Obvious! Bow down before my dunderheadedness!
Dec. 21st, 2006 01:04 am (UTC)
Oh I already did, long before you pointed out its necessity!
Dec. 21st, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
Um, thanks?
Dec. 21st, 2006 01:07 am (UTC)
(I was making an apparently too subtle joke about you pointing out the obvious.)
Dec. 21st, 2006 01:10 am (UTC)
hee hee... oh, i got it. ;)
Dec. 20th, 2006 07:51 pm (UTC)
I may find it necessary at some point to rip off parts of that ad...
Dec. 20th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC)
Oh thats funny....

(had to sing that in junior high, and I still can remember the lyrics perfectly)

but i giggle, thats cute davey
Dec. 20th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC)
You had to sing that in Jr. High? Where did you go to school, Tortuga?
Dec. 21st, 2006 11:23 am (UTC)
Surprisingly that would indicate that my Jr High equivalent was in Tortuga too, since this was our 'How to sing this Canon-thingy'-lesson; however, the abundance of boredom and lack of piracy tells me otherwise.
Dec. 21st, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)
Wow. My mental picture of a bunch of bored German teen-agers half-heartedly singing "What do you do with a drunken sailor" is ... weird.
Dec. 21st, 2006 02:43 am (UTC)
You know I think the problem here is you're looking for Sodomy and dont mention you're looking for pirate WENCHES anywhere... just that you're looking for "Captain Hardworthy"... I think you might get more than one 'pirate' that responds to your add...
Dec. 21st, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)
As it's firmly posted in the "M4W" section, and I make clear that I am hetero, I believe I'm safe. Indeed, so far it seems as though the risk is that the only women thus far interested have been of a rather advanced age, or rather larger stature than my own.

Dec. 21st, 2006 03:14 am (UTC)
You know, I do know a coupld of actual pirate love ballads, one of which even has a tune, that I'm sure I could dig up... Yes, in this entry :)

Good luck wooing the pirate lasses :D
Dec. 21st, 2006 03:26 am (UTC)
Genius. Simply genius.
Dec. 21st, 2006 07:18 am (UTC)
That is one l33t contact add. If you don't get any good catches from that, I don't know what.

Dec. 21st, 2006 11:21 am (UTC)
This is most awesome. It is possible the best add written in the history of contact adds.

Dec. 22nd, 2006 01:43 am (UTC)
Well, shit! I'd reply, but I already have my very own Monkey. And he doesn't share. And I've almost stopped him from throwing poo.

Sounds great! She'll have a sense of humor, that's for sure!
( 21 comments — Leave a comment )