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One Step Closer to the Zombie Protocols

As you may know, a part of the Zombie Protocols involves a defense-in-depth strategy combined with superior mobility to both fend off hordes of the ravenous dead, as well as escape to safer areas should it become necessary.

Technologically, the Zombie Safehouse is currently practical - a house on 40' greased telephone poles is, after all, quite simple - albeit exotic.

Thus far, however, the Zombie Escape Zeppelin (ZomEsZep) has been impractical. But now, we are one step closer - the personal "skyacht" seen here: http://www.engadget.com/2006/08/07/the-skyacht-practical-personal-blimp/ allows for an individual LTA craft that operates on hot air, rather than helium. At present it only carries one person - but scaling it up to include staterooms and a fantail deck with leather club chairs, bookshelves, servant's quarters and a mahogany bar is a matter of scale rather than design. Technologically, solar cells that will power the craft indefinitely are all that remains to be developed.

Let us hope that the Zombie Appocalypse doesn't occur before the requisite breakthroughs. And that I have the means to acquire the ZomEsZep, when it is possible.

Comments

( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
cacofunny
Aug. 8th, 2006 07:57 pm (UTC)
Funny you should mention evading zombies. Several months back I had an in-depth discussion with Travis (a Requiem player) about how zombies work:

1) They always get closer when you look back. SOLUTION: Don't look back.
2) When you hurry, you invariably trip and fall victim. SOLUTION: Walk, don't run.
3) They tend to attack one person en masse. SOLUTION: Bring along someone you don't like and trip him/her.
4) They can't drive. SOLUTION: Find a car and drive away. Remember, don't look in the rearview mirrors (see #1).

These are the rules that pop immediately into mind. There were many caveats with their own solutions, but they are too numerous to list and/or remember. These four, though, are the basics.

Hope this helps!
aghrivaine
Aug. 8th, 2006 08:08 pm (UTC)
Oh believe me, we've given it careful thought and developed quite a comprehensive set of Zombie Protocols.
fearsclave
Aug. 8th, 2006 08:58 pm (UTC)
Really?
Do post...
aghrivaine
Aug. 8th, 2006 09:00 pm (UTC)
Re: Really?
If I give away all the Zombie Protocols, they wouldn't be a secret anymore, would they??
bakaninja
Aug. 9th, 2006 04:08 pm (UTC)
Re: Really?
Whose hands are you afraid of these protocols falling into? Deep-cover Zombie spies? Save us with your wisdom!

The greased pole Zombie Stronghold is an awesome idea. Of course, no matter how impregnable a safe spot, it always goes wrong when surviviors arrive at the doorstep, begging for sanctuary. The defenses are momentarily lowered, then all hell breaks loose.
aghrivaine
Aug. 9th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Really?
Yes, see, that's why the Protocols are secret. The zombies are only HALF the problem. The other half is humans who lose their cool and do something stupid - like momentarily lowering defenses.

If everyone knew the protocols, they would infer ways to force violations of the protocols. This is not acceptable.

Only members of the Zombie Tontin are fully aware of the Zombie Protocols. Naturally, membership in the Zombie Tontin is secret.
beautesansbete
Aug. 9th, 2006 04:19 pm (UTC)
The main problem doesn’t lie with Zombie Stronghold because you can always have one built before the Zombie Apocalypse or move to an off shore oil rig (I never heard of a zombie that could swim). I think the main problem and point of most vulnerability is the hunting/gathering of supplies. Even if you have your own personal helicopter to fly from your Zombie Stronghold to an abandoned supermarket, you are prone to attack as soon as you land. So much for a good grocery shopping experience.
aghrivaine
Aug. 9th, 2006 06:03 pm (UTC)
Laying in adequate supplies to survive the Appocalypse is certainly an important element in preparation. The biggest problem is fresh, clean water.
beautesansbete
Aug. 9th, 2006 07:31 pm (UTC)
You're making me want to steal my son's Zombie Survival Guide. Just last week we were having a debate over what is the best weapon to use against them. There seems to be alot of pros and cons to just about every one.
aghrivaine
Aug. 9th, 2006 07:35 pm (UTC)
Primary: Shotgun. Secondary: Katana

Some would argue for the shovel or chainsaw as secondary, and I see the merits of both. But I'll stick with what I know is capable of decapitation with a minimum of fuss or effort, and is equally of use against other humans - which, as we've discussed, is half the problem.

"Are you sure you're going to lower the ladder to your girlfriend, stranded below the Zombie Fortress? The zombies are awfully close, and we have a strict "no ladder-lowering' policy."

"I'm sure."

"I can't dissuade you, no matter what?"

"No way, that's the woman I love. I have to save her."

"Regrettable."

::shhhluucccck::
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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