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X-3 No spoilers

X-3 is an object lesson of what happens when you have a massive budget, the best special effects possible, a top-notch cast of truly excellent actors...

And then you give the script to be written by to be written by the same team that wrote "XXX: State of the Union" "Elektra" and "Inspector Gadget." People who, I might add, have no love of the franchise, no respect for the characters, and as much talent as a whisky-besotted Irish bonobo ape. I'm not sure if there is such a thing, but were there, I feel confident it could write a script just as good as these two buffoons did.

Then, hand it over to the director who did "Rush Hour 2" - and what do you get? A visually impressive piece of crap.

How do these hacks get handed such a hot property? Sweet cheese, I could have written a better script, and so could my cat.

Let's just pretend it didn't happen.


( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 27th, 2006 06:57 pm (UTC)
Davy, I gave you more credit that this.

Zak Penn was also the guy who wrote X2, which is widely acknowledged as brilliant, eveen by slavish fanboys like Wasta. Maybe this script wasn't as good as X2's but it's not because of who wrote it.


And I'm tired of defending Brett Ratner. See my LJ post from a couple of days ago for my thoughts on this issue.

See you tomorrow! :-)
May. 27th, 2006 07:49 pm (UTC)
I didn't think the script was that bad, but the story divergerged quite a lot form the original, and I'm sure there will be riots among hardcore x-men fans. ;)

I thought some of the scenes were really really well shot, but others lacked impact because of their framing.
May. 28th, 2006 12:06 am (UTC)
Two words: character development. As in, there was none.

Seriously - a main character dies and we don't even get to see it, never mind get any kind of closure for it from the rest of the characters? Any of them? We get two seconds of regret from the one supposedly closest to him, and that's that. (Yeah, I'm trying to avoid spoilers. *g*) And then they go and throw characters in just to have more cool mutations to play with, but they don't really use them.

Too many bodies on screen, not enough characters. Bleh.
May. 28th, 2006 02:25 am (UTC)
Thank you. For a moment, I thought I had crossed over into Bizarro World. Everyone has been raving about X3 and I thought it was a big steaming pile of crap. Glad to know that my taste-o-meter is vibrating at the same frequency as yours.

Ew....that sounds teh gay.
May. 28th, 2006 08:13 am (UTC)
Bah, I say. Let us place it with Highlander 2.

May. 28th, 2006 08:40 am (UTC)
That's actually exactly what I was thinking!
May. 28th, 2006 08:52 am (UTC)
BITE YOUR TONGUE! The movie wasn't great, but it was by no means a half-formed abortion like HII.
May. 29th, 2006 02:52 pm (UTC)
Give me a break, fanboy.
This was the response to someone who emailed me a link to this LJ post. I figured it's worth reading here as well. And yeah, I'm posting anon, deal with it. I really don't need the potential for hysterical sociopathic nerd screeds appearing on my own LJ. Give Harlan Ellison's Xenophobia essay a read if you don't know what I'm talking about:

I wouldn't put much stock in whoever that jackass is.

That shrill, melodramatic, and manipulative, attempt-at-spin-doctoring tone is one of the hallmarks of the fanboy. Who has about as much critical acumen or objectivity as Stan Lee himself. Hell, Lee has more objectivity, he allows all the continuity changes to go on in the Marvel universe to begin with.

Yes, the script was written by the guy who did the triple XXX sequel, which had Vin Diesel, and since we all know he's a moron, it *must* be bad, right? At least, that's what the "reviewer" would like you to think. And Inspector Gadget? That's a movie made from a kid's cartoon, so that must mean it's childish, as well, again, by way of circular logic. This is fanboyism. It's presenting circumstantial evidence, not a review. Posting the IMDB resume of the screenwriter, while neglecting to mention that he is also the *same* writer who did the screenplay of X2, X2 being a fan favorite, is misleading and idiotic. It's an attempt at spin, saying "look at these terrible movies and assume that this one is terrible too!" Hell, Michael Petroni, one of the writers on Queen of the Damned, one of the most rotten movies to come down the pipe in recent memory, also wrote The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys, which was a very well received film.

What it sounds to me like is this dumbass didn't like what happened to one of "his" characters in the film, got his fanboy panties in a twist, and is now knocking the movie, out of some misguided loyality to "his" favorite character's continuity, or out of some wacked out erotomania regarding Bryan Singer, since we all know St. Bryan is the only human who is hallowed enough to touch the property.

Tust me, it's a great movie. It's more mature, it's better edited, and it's got much better action sequences, than the first two. And it's *got* character development, contrary to popular comic reader retard wisdom. I had more of an emotional response to scenes in this film than I have had for any of the scenes in any of the other films. (which truthfuly, while well done, had no emotional impact on me) But, yeah, they took ArcLight and made her into an androgynous Latino, and Callisto is a member of the Brotherhood now, so, *that* must be why the movie stinks. ;P

Thx for the link, I should know better than to read this type of stuff. The worst part about seeing comic movies is having to listen to the fanboys, which always gets my blood pressure up.
May. 29th, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
Re: Give me a break, fanboy.
It's odd that you take an opinion which differs from yours as evidence of mental retardation or lack of good character. Why do you feel so personally offended by my poor opinion of a lackluster movie? Why do you feel it's appropriate to make anonymous, insulting rants - while claiming to defend yourself from the same?

Of course, I disagree with much of what you write here - past puerile efforts by low-talent writers are a perfectly legitimate critique - XXX:State of the Union was, in fact, ludicrously bad, and Inspector Gadget, while not automatically bad because it's based on a kid's cartoon, was still bad because it was sophomoric and unsophisticated.

X3 is poorly written because it has clunky dialogue with clumsy exposition, unexplained plot-holes, and a lack of characterization in any substantive way. One character is developed, and even his motivations seem a bit murky. The rest are caricatures.

The death of major characters, while potentially a powerful technique; is in this case without serious affect. The swelling string music tells us we're supposed to be sad at the funeral scene - but, were we? I for one found the whole thing pretty hokey. It didn't further the plot, it wasn't a logical end to the character's story, and it didn't have any impact on the audience emotionally. Basically, they both went out like punks. We prefer heroes to go out heroically, particularly in the genre of, and I stress the word "super" - superheroes.

Lastly, your insulting tone is inappropriate. So, further anonymous insults will just be deleted, Vico.
May. 30th, 2006 03:15 am (UTC)
I can't believe you actually allowed that comment to appear. It's even worse than I thought it would be (adding even more ranting and hurling more insults to the original text). And, he had the nerve to post anonymously! Personal attacks from a complete stranger who got his panties in a twist over your *opinion*!

Vico sounds like someone from over in Ran-land, is that what you mean?

I read your reviews of "A.I." and "I, Robot" and they were both invaluble to me in deciding whether to see the films. After seeing both films (which I wouldn't have seen if it hadn't been for you) which I enjoyed thoroughly, I decided that your opinion of films was something I should seek out in the future. I respect your opinions on so many things, and found we share the same ones when it comes to the aforementioned films.

Gawd, I'm so sorry that I exposed you to this crazy person.
May. 30th, 2006 03:52 am (UTC)
Re: Vico?
Oh, why should I worry about ridiculous comments like these? I mean, it's one thing if one wants to have a substantive conversation. But, if someone just takes pusillanimous swipes at me behind the cover of anonymity (and in a height of irony, claiming to do so to protect himself from anonymous insults!) it makes him look like a fool if I'm willing to engage him like an adult.

But, by the by, I'd hardly call this a "review" of X-3. I was just disappointed in the movie, and venting my spleen. There were good parts to it, I just figured it was a given anyone who's a fan of the comics would go see the movie , no matter how bad it is.
May. 31st, 2006 12:20 pm (UTC)
Uh... I knew this: "I was just disappointed in the movie, and venting my spleen." ;) I never considered it a review or called it one. :)

`Saw the film and I'm *extremely* glad that I stayed for the bit after the final credits.
Jun. 2nd, 2006 07:53 pm (UTC)
Re: Give me a break, fanboy.
Wow, a calm, measured response to the anonymous hate. I'm impressed.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )


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