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Rules: Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me." I will respondby asking you five questions of a very intimate and creepily personalnature. Or not so creepy/personal. You will update your LJ with theanswers to the questions. You will include this explanation and anoffer to interview someone else in the post. When others comment askingto be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

These questions asked by the tragically recently married vis_major

But you seem to hate the memes! :P~
I'm taking this as a question. No, I don't hate memes if they get people talking to each other. I don't much care for the "take this quiz and post the absurdly large an uninformative graphic" type memes. But even those I occaisionally break my rules for, especially if they involve pirates, monkeys, or Lord of the Rings.

1) If you could time traveland live in a completely different era, but you could never return tothis time, would you do so and why/why not?

I would not. Our standard of living today is infinitely higher than even the highest of classes at any time in the past. I live better than kings dead, in terms of life expectancy, luxuries, and potential to learn, travel, and remain healthy. If I absolutely HAD to, I suppose I'd either pick Napoleonic Europe, or pre-Tokugawa Shogunate-era Japan. The former because of the spiffy uniforms and ... well, adventure on the high seas! The latter because of the cleanliness and ...well, samurai and stuff. Of course, it would have to be pre-Tokugawa, or I'd be killed on sight as an intruder. That wouldn't be so much fun.

2) Describe one invention you'd build if money were no object. You don't even have to live by the laws of physics!

The Karma Knob. It would work like this - you'd wear it around your neck, and when you met someone, you could turn the dial to decide how attracted to them you are. That way you could decide to be wildly attracted to people with the traits that make you happy, who are available, and who you don't work with or have some other conflict-of-interest. And no one would be attracted to assholes anymore. Smart, fabulous, funny people would be very much in demand, while the jerks would be lonely and isolated - thus inspiring them to perhaps be kinder people. Of course, even jerks need lovin', so I predict there would be Asshole Bars where unkind people could go and temporarily dial each other up to a 10 ... until they couldn't stand each other's company any more, of course.

3) Who was your first big crush, and what attracted you to that person?
In fifth grade, I had a terrible crush on a Japanese exchange student named Yukako Sumi. She was really smart and really cute - and other than that I couldn't explain what it was about her that I liked. Probably, looking back, it had something to do with being a nerd already - but she was outside of the social status-quo and so would perhaps like me for who I am, rather than my place in the pecking order. But that was way too introspective for my age at the time. I just thought she was cute. I had no idea what to do about it, either.

4) Would you ever star in a porno, and why/why not?
I would not. I think the sex that I get to have in real life is way hotter than anything you'll see in a porn movie - and I wouldn't want to embarass any future mate or family by association. While I don't buy into the whole negative stigma associated with performance sex -- I don't really want the world to see me at my most intimate moments. Or at least... not unless it's one or two at a time.

5) Describe your ideal mate, including both physical & intellectual characteristics.
She will be very smart and intellectually curious; she'll have a desire to learn more about the world - both book learning, and boots-on-the-ground exploring adventure type learning, too. She'll be super funny, and see the bright side of any situation. She'll have a quirky but appealing sense of style, she'll be beautiful and healthy - she'll have a sincere commitment to leading a compassionate, generous and honest life - but not be so inhibited that she's afraid to let down her hair and be naughty from time to time. She will be tolerant of a dreamer, and prone to flights of imagination herself, but capable of practicality. She will have a good idea of what she wants out of life - and part of that will be that she wants to share it with me - but she will also have an open mind about what the future will hold. She'll want a family of her own, but not at the expense of her or my identities as individuals. She will be self-sufficient and capable, but also not afraid to lean on or support another. She will be ready to have a "serious" relationship, but not think for a second that "serious" precludes profound silliness and absurdity. She will have a healthy sexual appetite, an open mind, and a desire to both please and be pleased. She will be truly trustworthy.

If I haven't said much about physical characteristics, it's because I think there are lots of different kinds of beautiful. All that matters is that there is attraction - the rest comes from intimacy and trust. Sorry if that seems like a cop out ... it's just that I don't really have a "type" per se. The women I've dated are all physically very different from each other, but all equally beautiful. I've been very, very lucky.


( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
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Apr. 26th, 2006 12:33 am (UTC)
Interview me! Although I already asked people to be interviewed within the past couple of week ;p
Apr. 26th, 2006 12:36 am (UTC)
Ok, but interview me back. :)

Here are your questions:
1. You've been kidnapped by ninjas. The pirates swear to rescue you. Question: how many ninjas are left alive by the time the pirates get to you?

2. Have you ever had "in character" sex? 'Splain

3. The pirates have rescued you. They recognize you as their queen. They ask you to pick a port that they will capture and use as their base of operations - where do you pick, and why?

4. If you could do one thing that no one would ever find out about - what would you do?

5. What's the one thing no one's ever asked you to do, that you just wish they'd had the courage or chutzpah to ask?
Apr. 26th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
I'm curious to see what you would ask.
Apr. 26th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
1. One voice tells you, "Be more aggressive in following your dreams - give less so you'll have more in the long haul." And the other says, "Give selflessly and without caution - what you send out, you'll get back threefold." Which one has your best interests at heart, and which is trying to deceive you?

2. Why don't you have a boyfriend?

3. How much of your psychic work do you believe is genuinely supernatural, and how much your own intuition?

4. When you sell your script for bazillions of dollars, will you buy a car? If so, what kind?

5. Would you rather be abducted by a leather-clad motorcycle gang, lusty pirates, or cross-dressing drag queens on an epic journey across the desert?
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 26th, 2006 01:16 pm (UTC)
I, of course, read this with the same exuberance of Ms. Granger answering a question in class! LOL
(no subject) - aghrivaine - Apr. 26th, 2006 05:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 26th, 2006 01:56 am (UTC)
This could be ammusing since I do not believe we have met in person...
Apr. 26th, 2006 02:00 am (UTC)
But here are 5 questions for you:

"Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash. Pick Two" why only two?

What is the kinkiest thing your willing to admit to?

What one thing would you do over again?

What is your most loved Character in LARP?

What is your most hated?
(no subject) - aghrivaine - Apr. 26th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 26th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
Ok, if you get a chance, interview me, please.

And, also if you get a chance, here are a few more questions for you:

1. If you could go back earlier in life and become an expert on a subject, Ph.D., virtuoso, etc. in anything, what would it be and why?

2. If HAD to have your greatest vice classified into one of the "7 Deadly Sins", which one would it be?

3. Tell me about one recurring dream you have, or something you dream regularly about.

4. If you woke up tomorrow morning and the world was taken over by zombies, what's your plan of action?

5. Am I a good kisser? (just messin')
5b. If you could choose one romantic scene or couple from a movie to represent the epitome of your IDEAL relationship/mate/start of a relationship, what movie/scene/characters?

6. Bonus Question: Name ONE word you constantly either: have a mental block against spelling correctly, have trouble remembering the exact definition of, or have the "tip-of-the-tounge, can't remember the word" issue with?

(I find that a great question for writers in particular.)
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:07 pm (UTC)
Questions for you:

1. You like girls and used to self-identify not as bi, but lesbian; but you married a boy. Any regrets? What inspired the change of preference?

2. You've been whisked off to a tropical paradise. Your every whim will be catered to by the residents, who are all beautiful and gleaming in the bright sun. There are lube waterfalls, chocolate lagoons, and beer tidal-pools with butterlobsters itching to be caught. The catch - you have to vote Republican in perpetuity to stay there. Question: do you swim home, or fashion some sort of raft?

3. What is one thing you'd like to do, that no one would ever, ever find out about.

4. Would you have hung on to the pictures?

5. You get to make one toy that no one can shoot down, and will be sold all over the place, no matter how subversive. What's the toy?
(no subject) - glamour_junkie - Apr. 26th, 2006 10:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aghrivaine - Apr. 26th, 2006 10:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - glamour_junkie - Apr. 26th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - glamour_junkie - Apr. 26th, 2006 10:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 26th, 2006 03:58 am (UTC)
Interview me please.
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:14 pm (UTC)
1. You are a thoughtful and compassionate man - open-minded and fair. Yet, you adhere to a political and social conservativism that aspires to dictate to individuals what they are or are not free to do, and enforce a particular and not-universal morality. Does this seem dissonant to you? If so, how do you make it all square in your mind?

2. Your sons are drafted into the military to fight an aggressive war-of-choice; are you proud of their service, or angry at your government?

3. There's something about haiku that appeals to you above other forms of poetry - what is it?

4. In my opinion, you're a fine poet. Do you ever make attempts to publish? If not, why not? (Because I think you should.)

5. You can grant one of your sons a long life with perfect health but great poverty - and the other a shorter-than-average life filled with career and financial success. Do you? Or do you let them both take their chances?
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:27 am (UTC)
I usually don't do these things, but I'm curious to see what you'd ask me...
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:23 pm (UTC)
Scandalous questions for you. (You asked for it!)

1. You and Scadian friends are transported back to the Middle Ages, your equipment turned into functional real stuff. You have to fight a battle to secure your homeland and someday find your way home. Question: how many of you are killed outright, and how many sold into slavery to the Turks?

2. Larpsex. Do you?

3. You've got a great big brain - what thought do you find preoccupying and keeping you from getting on with the important, smarty-pants stuff?

4. Do you take it up the ass?

5. When Harry Potter makes you think dirty thoughts, are you ashamed of your pedophiliac lusts ... or do you just bitch about not being able to find a good cheese-steak on the West Coast?
Apr. 26th, 2006 07:49 am (UTC)
Me! Me! Me!
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:26 pm (UTC)
1. Forever and ever and ever, you get to *either* have vanilla intercourse, or kinky non-penetrative sex. Which, and why?

2. You have a degree - but you're living at home and working at a coffee shop. I know you aspire to more .. .so what is it you aspire to, and how will you get there?

3. I'm sure you get tired of being viewed as a sex-object by nerdboys. You do dress sexy, though - to what extent do you enjoy the attention?

4. Do you take it up the ass?

5. You've lead a successful Mormon coup. Now you are the matriarch with your many husbands. Your limitless power affords you whatever husbands and boytoys in the world you choose - who are they, and how do you divide up their marital duties?
(no subject) - thelastmehina - Apr. 26th, 2006 06:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aghrivaine - Apr. 26th, 2006 06:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thelastmehina - Apr. 26th, 2006 06:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aghrivaine - Apr. 26th, 2006 06:46 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - thelastmehina - Apr. 26th, 2006 06:56 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 26th, 2006 01:17 pm (UTC)
You could spend the next year coming up with questions for all these people but as suggested earlier my curiosity is peked (sp???).
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC)
1. I've seen you start and drop any number of ambitious projects. What passions have you seen through to completion? What made them different from the others?

2. You favor a narrative style of running a game. Have you ever tried to be more freeform and player-driven - and if so, how did it work for you?

3. George Bush comes to you for some advice. "Tell me what I'm doing wrong, and how to fix it." What do you tell him?

4. You have stated that the Tsunamis in the Pacific Rim were punishment by God for an insufficiently spiritual world. Does the same hold true for Hurricane Katrina?

5. What's the biggest mistake you ever made? If you could correct it today, what would you do?
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:36 pm (UTC)
Re: breathing into brown paper bag......
No one gets treated gently here, baby! This is rock 'em sock 'em interviews!

1. If you could gain personal and romantic fulfillment at the expense of financial stability - would you? Would you give up security for happiness?

2. Your mother has been abducted by killer chimps who have evolved in communist simians. They demand that you take a vow of poverty forever, or your mother will be made into soupbones! What do you have to buy to make yourself feel better after the funeral?

3. The Sorting Hat tells you you can be Gryffindor if you'll sneak in after hours and give it a little vigorous "brimming". You're not even sure what that means, but it sounds dirty. Do you do it?

4. Do you take it up the ass?

5. Assume you've gone back in time and decided to pursue acting - and ended up an "A" list star. What upcoming movie will be your star vehicle? (Feel free to invent something you'd just like to see.)
Apr. 26th, 2006 04:34 pm (UTC)
Ooh! Ooh! Me! Interview me!

Also, I think it's interesting that you didn't consider going to a future era for #1. And your karma knob sounds like a winner.
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:44 pm (UTC)
Here we go - and no holds barred!

1. You can press a button and make every WinTel machine in the world suddenly *poof* become a mac. To do so, you have to swear to support every bleeding-heart liberal cause, forever. Do you?

2. What's more important - holding accountable wrong-doing, or compassion for the unfortunate? Why?

3. When you have your illicit Harry Potter fantasies, do you feel guilty? Or do you just go back to knitting your Gryffindor colors vibe-cozy?

4. Do you take it up the ass?

5. You've married into a family that consists of another woman's child. Do you want a child of your own - and to what extent have you become a parent to your step-son? Are you a wicked step-mother, as we all suspect?
Apr. 26th, 2006 06:42 pm (UTC)
Do me! Do me hard!
Apr. 26th, 2006 07:33 pm (UTC)
And just to pre-empt you, I don't take it up the ass.
(no subject) - vis_major - Apr. 26th, 2006 07:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aghrivaine - Apr. 26th, 2006 08:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
Apr. 26th, 2006 08:45 pm (UTC)
Interview me?
Apr. 26th, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
1. At last you wake up after a long night of scrumping with your dream lover. He looks at you dreamily and says:
a: "Hodor."
b: "I will not eat them, Sonja I am..."
c: "Where's breakfast in bed? 30 points from Gryffindor."
d: [cybernetic breathing sounds]

2. Oh the pretty, pretty wild horses. But hey, they're very low in fat, and apparently quite delicious. Aren't you at least a little bit curious?

3. You've travelled the wide world and served coffee over lots of it. What was the nicest place to ask "cream and sugar?"

4. Do you take it up the ass?

5. There's this incredible, fancy masquerade ball at Halloween on a world-famous cruise ship. You're invited -- what costume do you wear? ;)
Apr. 27th, 2006 02:06 am (UTC)
interview me por favor
lest .000 ye shall bat
Apr. 28th, 2006 06:53 am (UTC)
Please interview me.
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( 40 comments — Leave a comment )