Docket: David V. Krieger
Accused of: Crimes Against Humanity
Nature of Transgression:Karaoke
It is the opinion of this court that Mr. Krieger is clearly guilty of the worst sort of transgression against human morality and decency.
It is further the opinion of this court that the accused has already been punished. In the interest of justice, let the accused's filthy, filthy hangover suffice as "time served".