Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

Open Letter to Mr. Epson

Dear Mr. Epson;

Imagine that you have just purchased a common household appliance, like a refrigerator. Upon your return home, when you want to install the refrigerator, you carefully unbox it, get rid of the old refrigerator, and follow the instructions to the letter.

Only, it turns out your refrigerator requires a special power cord, that does not come WITH the refrigerator, but it won't function without it. Now you've gotten rid of your old refrigerator, and don't have a working new one! What a hassle. You might be angry enough to say.. .find a website, and write a letter.

This is just what happened when I purchased your stupid Epson Stylus Photo R200. I didn't find out I needed a SPECIAL usb cable until I reached step four in your stupid directions. I have a regular USB cable, which was good enough for my old printer. Why isn't it good enough for yours? If you are going to require people to have a kind of USB cable that is not typical, not in common use, you ought to provide the stupid thing. It ought to be in the box. That, or a little elf ought to leap out at you in the aisle when you tried to purchase your stupid printer, and said, "Avoid Epson! They will require esoteric parts that you don't have, but can't easily acquire before their products work!" Then I would never have bought your stupid printer. Damn your eyes. And damn the eyes of the little elf that did not leap out at me when I bought your stupid printer, and failed to prevent the frustration and inconvenience that your poor product design and lack of a special cable has brought about, ruining this otherwise splendid Saturday. I spent the morning at a capital cafe with my girlfriend (well, I suppose she's my girlfriend, but at any rate, the woman who I am dating) and my roommates. We had top notch Belgian waffles and plenty of coffee. (The place is called "more than waffles" in Encino, CA. I highly recommend it.) I anxiously anticipated a happy day of printing out photos and cd's... excited, I turned to installing my new (stupid) printer. And what should happen? I don't have the damned, double damned, and thrice cursed cable that you require but don't provide.

I hope all of you break out in festering boils.

David Krieger
(SGT, US Army Retired)
Encino, California.

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