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DJ Feanor - Old Skool

In Honor of the "Lord of the Rhymes"

Before the sun and moon
when the lamps were dark,
and the trees gave light in the elf-king's park,
Even before the kin-slaying
was the rhyme-saying
of the first age master
the original mean ol' bastard

Don't even mention the ring
it ain't no thing, no matter how bad Sauron wanted it
it was just cheap bling when Frodo flaunted it
Compared to a real bad ass old skoo drive by-kill
the super-fly bling First Age silmaril!

I'm talkin' about the mightiest DJ there ever was
the king of all elves was his homeboy cuz'
Rapmaster Feanor was the original master
if you battle with him you're courting disaster

Homeboy will burn your ships like he doesn't need 'em,
He'll go toe to toe with Morgoth and bleed 'im.
motherfucker, he didn't just invent the rhyming,
he created writing with immaculate timing
Even Mandos when he pronounced his doom
new Feanor was the baddest dj in the room
all of arda is bound up in the fate of those few jewelz
because DJ Feanor old skool rulez!

I'm talkin' about the mightiest DJ there ever was
the king of all elves was his homeboy cuz'
Rapmaster Feanor was the original master
if you battle with him you're courting disaster

Now DJ Morgoth called him out,
Dissed his daddy and started the 'bout.
Stole his bling, and made for the hills,
So Feanor followed to collect on the bills.
Called up his homies, and made 'em swear,
they'd take off with him on his righteous tear.
Before he set off, he went to the king,
And told him that morgoth had stole his bling.
"Stay, Playa, you can't go"
"I'm not listenin' if you say no".
so they grabbed some ships down at the docks,
when some cats tried to stop him, he popped their chocks.

Okay, I have to stop now.
This is hurting even my brain.


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 30th, 2005 01:04 am (UTC)
Oh my goodness, this is hilarious!!
Did you write it or find it somewhere?
If it's the former, than I'm impressed beyond words.
Aug. 30th, 2005 01:06 am (UTC)
Oh I wrote it, all right. But finally my brain rebelled and made me stop. :)
Aug. 30th, 2005 02:55 am (UTC)
Word to your Maiar!
Aug. 30th, 2005 02:57 am (UTC)
Aug. 30th, 2005 03:20 am (UTC)
This is the best. thing. ever.

I had to read it out loud with the karaoke music to "boyz in tha hood" and it was beautiful.
Aug. 30th, 2005 03:21 am (UTC)
Well uh.. .thanks?
Aug. 30th, 2005 03:22 am (UTC)
Hehe, sorry about the anonymous post. I don't know how I got logged out.
Aug. 30th, 2005 03:23 am (UTC)
Who else do you know that would have karaoke mp3's of gangster rap? Besides Yagathai, I mean.
Aug. 30th, 2005 03:33 am (UTC)
Aegon Blutarsky. That guys' got some weird shit, man.
Aug. 30th, 2005 07:16 am (UTC)
LMAO. You need to make a video. ...emailing it to others.
Sep. 16th, 2005 03:19 am (UTC)
Hello! My name is Mike; I doubt we know each other. I play Jack Kurlein in OWBN if that helps any.

I'm intruding here because I saw toast3r had you down as a friend. I'd like to know if you'd be willing to help out for his birthday.

The man mentioned in his LJ that he wanted to be able to go back to SF to visit people and to enjoy himself on a vacation. Thus, I decided to hold a "ship toast3r home" drive. It ends late tomorrow night. Currently I've got $128.50 already donated via PayPal. I'd like to get as much as possible for him; gas / airfare / etc isn't getting any cheaper...

If you're interested, check out my LJ for details. If not, I completely understand. Please do NOT take this as badgering or anything like that. For one, you don't know me and I'm asking you for money- I'd question me, too. For another, cash is tight- money doesn't grow on trees and we all work hard for what we get.

Anyhow, head on over to my LJ and read around for more information. The PalPal addy is prebans@hotmail.com if you're interested. Whether or not you're interested, it's all good and I thank you for your time.

Sorry to bother you,

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )


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