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On My Home Planet

One day, the mothership will come, and take me home. Then I will discover my home planet, where so many things that are peculiar or quirky now will make perfect sense.

On my home planet, the best thing that someone can be is creative, not beautiful. Beautiful people will be admired as ornaments, creative people will be admired as bringing to life the things that make life worth living.

On my home planet, the bigger your vocabulary, the higher your social status. In high-school, semi-literate knuckle-draggers will be pantsed and tossed into the girl's locker room, while the articulate, well-spoken kids are sought after and crushed on.

On my home planet, companies will not exist as invidual entities upon whom the blame for moral wrongs can be pinned, even while its decision-makers and constituents avoid repurcussions. Instead, companies will be seen as an extension of its owners, and its good or bad behavior will reflect directly on them.

On my home planet, no company, individual, or group will be allowed to invest in the political process by buying candidates with so-called "campaign contributions". Instead, all elections (which will be instant-runoff ) will be financed entirely by the government, and overseen by a non-party affiliated extra-state entity that apportions funds to any candidate of any party, qualified to run and with sufficient popular support.

On my home planet, work will be seen as an odious necessity with no particular reward other than as a means to generate income. Bosses who say things like, "I'd better see your car in the parking lot when I come in, and when I leave" will be defenstrated. There will be no such thing as mandatory over-time, benefits must be paid for all employees (but in a percentage of full benefits based on the percentage of full time that they work) and everyone will get six weeks paid vacation, plus holidays.

On my home planet, religion will be seen as a means to aspire to a moral and ethically good life, rather than as a means to punish behavior we disapprove of. Those who opt not to follow any religion will not be discriminated against.

On my home planet, genre fiction of any sort will be as respected as regular fiction.

On my home planet, there will be no giant squids.

On my home planet, when someone breaks your heart, they will be packed up into a rocket and shot into space.

On my home planet, you will have a dial, and be able to decide how attractive you find someone. So if you meet someone you really get along well with, and have no professional conflicts-of-interests with, you can dial them up as high as you want. If you meet a real jerk, you can dial them down to zero. Assholes will be able to go to bars, and make agreements to turn each other up to 10 for the night. (Even assholes need lovin'.) People who need to work together can dial each other into a neutral state, and people in monogamous relationships can be sure that they find no one but their spouse particularly attractive. Attraction will therefore be based on virtue, likeability and personality rather than a fluke of genetics.

On my home planet, no one will care who you love, or how you choose to love them. They'll just be excited to see that you're a loving person.

On my home planet, education is about the most important thing anyone does. Education will not be a means to an end, a way to get a good job or make lots of money - but instead, it will be the end in and of itself. People will never stop learning.

That's all for now.
What will your home planet be like?


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 25th, 2005 05:57 pm (UTC)
Go back to Venezuela, Chavez-lover!
Aug. 25th, 2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
I saw we take Chavez out. There's a seafood resaurant around here that I think he'd really like. They make a killer shrimp-burger, and I bet he'd love it.
Aug. 25th, 2005 06:02 pm (UTC)
"A world of nothing but shrimp."

Aug. 25th, 2005 06:38 pm (UTC)
Davy - Awesome stuff. This is the making of a good chain letter; the kind that actually deserves to be read. - Mike
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
but what would your home planet be like?
Aug. 26th, 2005 12:21 am (UTC)

I'd be surrounded in cheese.... and there'd be no future-mother-in-laws to make me feel like shit. :)
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
on my home planet, which is earth, you are a subversive and have already been reported to the authorities. don't listen for the knock. they won't knock. you'll be fine after re-education. if you work hard, they'll let you be a poll worker for jeb in 2008.

Aug. 25th, 2005 07:07 pm (UTC)
On my home planet, people who are goth for more than six months and don't slit their wrists will be given a new warddrobe, and all the greatest hits of Abba, Roxette, Color Me Badd and Ace of Base.
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:29 pm (UTC)
I wanna live on your planet, this one sucks.
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC)
When the mothership comes, we'll stop off in Drexel Hill, ok?
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:40 pm (UTC)
Yippy! Is there room for a geek/rocker husband, a geek/gamer teenager and a cute little bunny too?
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 25th, 2005 07:42 pm (UTC)
Re: This is going to sound cheesy, but ...
What's with an attack of the literals, lately?

On my home planet, when people are fanciful and non-literal, others will play along, or simply not comment.
Aug. 26th, 2005 02:12 am (UTC)
I'm moving to your home planet, immediately... can you give a girl directions? It sounds like it must be in heaven, ahem, MY heaven that is, not that ... yanno... other one people talk about.
Aug. 26th, 2005 04:49 am (UTC)
Re: Moving
Yeah, cause THAT heaven is boring, what with all the no drinking, no dancing, no sex business...
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )


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