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Comedy Apotheosis

It just occurred to me that a monkey pie-fight would be a comedy apotheosis.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 19th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
Speaking of monkeys...

I know you play WoW.... but if you preorder the expansion of EQ2 (Desert of Flames ... it's EQ1's desert of Ro all souped up) you get a PET MONKEY to keep in your inn room...

::lure lure::
Aug. 19th, 2005 05:46 pm (UTC)
I know, I saw that.
But still. ANOTHER monthly subscription? Sigh..
Aug. 19th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
I won't inquire as to the train of thought that led you to this conclusion.

Your brain is either a very wonderful or very scary place, my friend.
Aug. 19th, 2005 05:52 pm (UTC)
It's like Chinese lunch. Little a column A, a little of Column B...

(though oddly it came up as a result of a response to a personal ad, which I can only say is a very good thing. Hence, I encourage you to try Craigslist)
Aug. 19th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
it came up as a result of a response to a personal ad, which I can only say is a very good thing. Hence, I encourage you to try Craigslist

Tell you what..let me know if this encounted *ends* with a monkey pie fight..and *then* I'll decide about giving Craigslist a try. :)
Aug. 19th, 2005 05:55 pm (UTC)
dang it. encounter
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:05 pm (UTC)
I think that a monkey knife fight would be funnier. Imagine this:

Two monkeys, brothers, in a mad-science research facility. They each have a knife. Their cruel scientist masters tell them that tomorrow one of them will be taken away for weeks of excruciating and eventually fatal experiments, while the other will be summarily executed quickly and painlessly. They are given two knives.

Bearing a great love for each other, neither wants the other to suffer in the torture (science) pens. They know that escape is impossible, and so they each pick up a knife, intent on preventing the other from living long enough to risk being chosen as a research specimen.

The fight rages for hours up and down their enclosure. The monkeys in the neighboring cages scream and shake their cage doors as the two brothers rage, blade against blade and tail against tail, all for a brother's the love.

Finally, one falls, his brother's knife still buried in his belly. His brother, weeping, holds the mortally wounded monkey in his arms as hot blood seeps between his fingers. Salty tears fall as the dying monkey professes his eternal fraternal love for his brother, the only monkey that he's ever cared for, his cagemate since birth, who now faces a fate infinitely worse than a knife's cruel bite. And then the victor watches the last glimmer of life fades from his sibling's eyes as the cage door opens behind him. He drops the knife and stands, head bowed. Black gloved hands drag him, limp and unresisting, to his doom.


See? Hilarious!
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:07 pm (UTC)
Why wouldn't the monkeys make a suicide pact, and kill each other simultaneously, as an act of simian filial comedy love?
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
Because their mother is being held hostage, under threat of vivisection.

Of course, that's just what the monkeys think. The mother was actually killed a long time ago, and her corpse stuffed and mounted on a puppeteer's frame in order to provide them with the odd glimpse of a sad, forlorn wave. To keep them docile, you see.
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:13 pm (UTC)
And this is comedy because...?
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:14 pm (UTC)
Because it's monkeys, man! I'd think that you, of all people, would understand!
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:16 pm (UTC)
No, listen - if the SCIENTIST were a monkey, THEN it would be comedy.
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:17 pm (UTC)
... I don't get it.
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
Naturally - you're a simian apostate.
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
That may be, but at least I'm a Pubertarian. I don't remember which heretical doctrine it was that you spewed from your mouth like a geyser of bloody feces, but it was odious. Oh, so very odious.
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:22 pm (UTC)
Well, it's only natural the Simian Apostates like yourselves would find the Adultite position, which is factually correct, odious. The truth, it burns ...
Aug. 19th, 2005 06:36 pm (UTC)
Tfui! Your rhetorical tricks have no effect on me, Adultite jackal!
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )


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