They are so hawt.
It's kind of a menace, I mean the ladies just can't help themselves when they see my shoes. It's sort of like the shoes precede me into a room, and then when they get that giddy feeling in the pit of their stomachs, and realize there's a *man* attached to the shoes, some sort of natural predatory instinct happens, and I find myself eyed like a piece of particularly delectable meat. (Or tofu if the lady in question is a vegetarian..)
I'm worried that, in combination with the New World Odor, I might be approaching some sort of swartzchild radius of hawtness, where all these poor women will be sucked into orbit and unable to escape. I am trying to counteract the shoe-hawtness by wearing a Harry Potter shirt today. I'm going to go sit in a coffee shop and read, and we'll see what the experiment yields. Will they be simultaneous attracted and repelled by shoes and feet, wavering at a stasis-point? I suppose I could test that theory by extending my legs. If the proximity of my feet draws them a little closer, then perhaps the theory is sound.
At any rate, I apologize in advance to the women of Los Angeles who are inconvenienced by my excessive hawtness (as embodied by my shoes) and the men who find their women igonring them.
