Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two

Open Letter to Mr. Entenmann, pt 2

Dear Mr. Entenmann;

Wax, sir. It is a marvellous invention - few things have been as key to the development of human civilization. Where we were once sad captives of the cold dark, wax brought light with candles. When our letters were unsecured against the predations of spies and interlopers, wax sealed the letters and provided a distinctive mark to identify the sealer. Wax is used in the making of moulds for the most beautiful of our sculptures, in securing honey for the table, and mirth with those funny wax lips.

But sir, I insist - wax does not belong in doughnuts.

And sadly, I must report that your doughnut holes, which I purchased at a local convenience store, were incredibly waxy. They were purported to be of a chocolate flavor. And yet, predominantly, the flavor was that of wax. I marvelled at the utility of wax, even as I was revolted by its presence in your chocolate doughnut holes.

I beg you sir, rid your fine products of this waxy flavor! The regular glazed doughnut holes (or Pop 'ems, as you call them) were delicious and decidedly not waxy. Perhaps they were delicious because they were not waxy, or perhaps it is only that waxiness precludes deliciousness, but the lack of one does not guarantee the other. In any case, glazed pop'ems are fine and dandy, whereas chocolate pop'ems are ... waxy, and not at all palatable.

Yours Etc;
David Krieger

PS - the proof of purchase on the box had the following number: 7203000809, and a sell-by date of July 16th (which as you can see, is in the future)

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