Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two
aghrivaine

My letter to Entenmann's



I sincerely hate your boxes. They are impossible to open without tearing into them like a food-crazed crazy-person. The way the sides with the hinges are perforated, but also glued shut at the corners makes the blasted things next to impossible to open.

Whilst in the process of opening them, I often look and feel foolish. My frustration mounts, which leads to me attacking the box with no small amount of ire. To an outside observer, it looks as if I am supremely desperate to get to the contents of the box.

While it may be true that sometimes I am supremely desperate to get to the contents of the box (I am not prepared to confirm or deny any rumors to that effect you may have heard) - it is never the case that I want to APPEAR desperate to get to the contents of the box. Such behavior is unbecoming of a gentleman.

So, if you please, change the boxes that you sell your products in so that they can be opened in a graceful and seemly manner. This will result in Entenmann's customers feeling happy and satisfied with your baked goods, rather than frustrated and desperate. Surely you would rather have happy and satisfied customers?

Yours etc,
David Krieger
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