November 5th, 2010

monkey pirate

Grappling with the Living Dark

I had a restless night of strange and bad dreams. The one I remember most clearly had me trapped in a room in a manor house until morning. I knew that the Living Dark was trying to kill me, and kill the people I was there to protect. At every turn I found my defenses against it were foiled - my wooden flashlight would emit only the weakest of lights, the lamps didn't work, everything. At one point I was raging against the darkness, shouting about the coming dawn.

So I woke up after that, and knew I was surrounded by darkness. My cat was there though, a little orange gleam in the darkness. Usually she head-butts me when I shift in my sleep and it wakes me up and irritates me. This time, her head-butt said, "I'm here!" Still, I saw the snarling faces like the khon demon masks of Thailand.

I didn't get back to sleep for a long time, and even when I did I had turbulent, scary dreams.

This morning I'm wrecked, exhausted. I was frustrated as hell because I couldn't find a single pair of pants anywhere in the house. I set out my sneakers, which is to the dog the signal that it is time to put them on and go for a walk. So he followed me around expectantly for about half an hour while I wandered around in my underwear looking for a goddamn pair of pants.

It's 9AM and the coolth of the early morning has burned off. Already it's blazing hot and the sun is relentless. 90 degrees in November? I am not comfortable today. I am tired. There is so much to do.
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