March 6th, 2007

monkey pirate

I'm Taller Than You

I'm the tallest guy you know. Yeah, I know, you're thinking, "But I know Big Kev. He's seven foot tall!"

Nope, I'm taller. Says so right here on my driver's license - I'm seven foot two. See, the form said "Height" and didn't have a box for feet and inches. Assuming that they didn't want metric system, but did want a single number not separated by diacritical marks, I put 72", which is how tall I was until yesterday.

So when the woman took my form and processed it, she read 72" as 7' 2". She didn't bother noticing that I'm clearly not over seven feet tall. She didn't tumble to the fact that I'd clearly marked my height in inches, rather than feet. She just transposed - so now it's official by act of the duly constituted and authorized legal authority of the California DMV. I'm seven feet, two inches. Way taller'n you, pal.

(P.S. It's an impossibly beautiful day. There's a bright sun and clear skies. It's warm, pleasantly so - the sun on my face was at least as cheering as the Phial of Galadriel. There's a lazy breeze coming in off the Pacific that keeps everything just exactly cool enough. And the ocean was the brightest, lightest shade of blue I've ever seen this morning - lighter than the palest cornflower, more brilliant and clear than the eyes of that girl that you just can't shake because of the way she looked right into you when you were... Ah yes. This is the most perfect day in creation, I nearly think.)
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monkey pirate

Bear Fightin' Suit

This video is truly sublime.
Take one Canadian who had a bad experience with a bear. Add a decade of tinkering with various suits of armor to make himself bear-proof. Throw in a desire to document the indestructibility of said "Ursus" suit.
Result - sheer, mad, brilliance.

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Sadly, according to Dave's Long Box, the creator (who so aptly demonstrates his resilience in this coffee-out-the-nose inducing video) Troy Hurtubise, has not gotten financial backers for his project, and is selling the suit on Ebay. It's a mixed, bittersweet kind of sadness though, because ... well.... there's your costume for fighting crime, man!
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