February 8th, 2006

monkey pirate

More absurd headlines

"Cartoon Protestors Try to Storm U.S. Base"

The combined forces of Warner Brothers radical extremists and Hanna Barbera separatists attempted to take a U.S. base in Toontown today. Casualties were low, despite the prevalance of falling anvils and bear-traps. An anonymous, masked spokesman for the cartoon protestors said, "We're smarter than the average jihadis!"

So, okay - does anyone else think that the term "cartoon protestors" is incredibly misleading? It's apparently so misleading that the protestors themselves have conflated the nations of Denmark, France, and the United States. The whole thing has risen to a level of absurdity that would make Beckett grin - if it weren't for the fatalities. And really, what an awful way to die. Imagine explaining to your children that Grandpa died over a cartoon protest. "But papa, we like cartoons!" "No children, these were the cartoons of the infidel. They satirized our hatred of cartoons! For this they must burn. Your grandfather was a martyr!"

Any organization that can be incited to violence by a cartoon clearly takes itself entirely too seriously. So seriously, that I can't imagine it has any capacity to adapt to changes - which means it's marked for extinction by suffocating under the weight of its own rigidity.