January 12th, 2006

savvy?

Disaster on my head

Last night I stopped by the local SuperCuts to get a good, conservative, clean haircut for interviews. My hair has gone through some wild peregrinations lately - from blue, to green, to silver-green, to brown, to slowly fading out to ash-blonde ... I wanted something that would not scream "independent thinker!" to potential employers.

I asked for a trim - clippers on the sides, cut down to a manageable but not spiky on top. The woman got out the clippers, and started trimming... and then said "oops!" I was a little worried, but she just kept working so it couldn't be too bad, right? After she finished with the clippers she said, "I'm not going to charge you for this cut. I made a mistake, ok?" She got the mirror and spun me around to see ...

And there, on the side of my head, was a divot about three inches by five, of pure, bald, scalp. I don't know what she thought, that I would just leave it like that, but obviously I had to shave off the rest of the sides to match, or it would look ridiculous. So now I have the kind of whitewall high-and-tight I haven't had since being in the Army.

On the other hand, I couldn't convince her to cut down the top enough, either, so that's too long - and I look like a skater. Only I'm too old and fat to be a skater, so I just look like a dork. What's worse - without even asking, she shaved off my lucky sideburns.

So now, rather than having a nice, conservative cut for interviews, I have a half-crazed skater-wannabe cut that screams, "I read comics and smoke dope in my mother's basement in between X-Box breaks." Greeeaaaaat.

The fates are surely laughing.