June 29th, 2002

monkey pirate

(no subject)

[6/29/2002 3:38:22 PM | David Krieger]
Arts Festival

I apologize for the nihilistic tone of my last post; that's what I get for writing late on a Friday night when I've been home alone, talking to the cat. Oh she and I had quite a gab-fest last night, full of the usual chatter. I burble at her happily, improvise song-lyrics in her honor, compliment her on what a wonderful animal she is... and she lets me. As a reward for my company, she kneads me with her claws when I finally sit down on the couch after a few peregrinations through the house.

This morning I got up after an inexplicably short night's sleep, and went down to the annual Manayunk Arts Festival. All of main street is shut down, and tents put up for craftspeople and artists from all over the country. One would think that this event would be a raucous, happy affair, with people wandering, chatting, calling out to each other about some treasure found, or irresistable precious discovery. One would think that - but one would be wrong. Instead, a bunch up uptight white people plod along Main Street in grim silence, perusing the wares of merchants and artists who seem sadly worn down by the oppressive silence and heat. Purchases are made joylessly and in quiet. It also seems a rule that people must bring their children, who will throng in the street, stopping abreast so as to make taller people trip over them. The other rule of the Arts Festival is that fat ladies will aggressively hip check anyone they choose to get in front of, and then stop stock still, blocking the narrow path between tents.

After about an hour of wandering around (and eating free sample, and yet again resisting the siren's call of battered and fried Milky Way bars...) I found a fantastic wedding present for my friends Eric and Rachel, who are getting married next week. I won't describe it in detail, because (Hi Eric! Hi Rachel!) I want it to be a surprise. But, I'm very well-pleased.... and I'm excited to give it to them, because it's hand-made, totally unique, really cool, and just has an aesthetic to it that I find very appealing, and hope they will too.

In the course of my meanderings, I gave some thought to the fact that I was incredibly distracted by the gaggle of beautiful women who were wandering around. I tell myself often that I just don't have the energy to try and date right now - and true to form, I've more or less avoided dating. I've convinced myself that in my current state of affairs, I'm better off alone than trying to tackle the Gordian complexity of a woman if I'm only half-hearted at best. But if that's the case - why is it that a really great butt will cause me to practically trip over myself?

Well, I've set a good goal for myself in terms of what to do with the summer (get in superb physical condition for the Harry Potter Triathlon in September) which will leave me buff and ready to have another go at it in the Fall. And isn't Autumn the best time to meet someone - when it's not so hot and sticky you just can't stand to be touched? So anyway, I gave some thought to the fact that despite the fact that I give a lot of thought to the wonderful loveliness that is the female form - I'm not equipped to deal with a relationship right now. Which dovetails into the nihilism of my last post - which is the negative flipside of that decision. A positive outlook is that I ought to have my act more together before I dive into something. The negative outlook is that I'm just making excuses for the fact that I'm messed up in head and heart.

But I still recommend that if you're a kid or a fat lady- you not stop suddenly in front of me if a girl with a good butt walks by. I will run over you.
monkey pirate

(no subject)

[6/29/2002 1:59:08 AM | David Krieger]
From "Daily Afflictions", Bleak and Nietzschean Truth

"Let our scars fall in love."
-- Galway Kinnell

We're all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you've been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there's no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. It isn't until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems -- the ones that make you truly who you are -- that you're ready to find a lifelong mate. Only then do you finally know what you're looking for. You're looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person; it has got to be the right wrong person -- someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, "This is the problem I want to have."

I will find that special person who is wrong for me in just the right way.

So true, especially in light of the email conversation I had today; the details of which are not important, but the gist of which was to remind me, yet again, that I found that special person who was wrong for me because, at heart - I am deeply flawed.