Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two (aghrivaine) wrote,
Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash: Pick Two


"Cats and dogs, sleeping together; human sacrifice - mass hysteria."

So as of about 7:30 last night, I have a dog. Just for a few days though.
My friend Maria dropped off her lab/border collie mix dog, Mercedes. Mercedes is the sweetest dog in the world.
This is what life with Mercedes is like:

Sit on the couch - nose on your leg.
Sit at the dining room table - nose on your leg.
Stand up - nose by your leg.
Lay down on the bed - nose on the edge of the bed.

Anyway, it was very nice to have her around in the evening. She signalled her need to go out by standing next to the door and going "foof." Which was sort of a bark that never quite made it to a bark. So, we went for walkies, which is always fun with a dog. EVERYTHING is new and exciting with a dog, even random patches of grass, which are apparently new and different from the other patch of grass that we just stopped to sniff about five yards back.

But all was not heavenly.

First, I am mildly allergic to dogs. So even though I took Allegra, I was having allergy symptoms which is never fun, and reminds me of being 13 and playing Dungeons and Dragons with my friends in my grandparent's basement. So there was the "nose runneth over" factor, but that's not too difficult to deal with.

I video-on-demanded "Jay and Silent Bob" which was basically awful except for a few inspired bits of physical comedy by Silent Bob. I observed that cat and dog were in an hour-long staring contest. The dog was at the foot of the couch, and the cat all the way at the end of the hallway - staring at each other. Staring staring staring. I figured Lolita was already plenty stressed from moving,and didn't need competition with a dog to freak her out even more, so I put her in the laundry room with fresh food and water. I visited her several times for pettings and reassuring, too. I was still exhausted from late nights and early mornings, so I went to bed early, watching ER in bed. And was woken up. By that "foof."

I assumed this meant she needed to go out. So go out we did - and by the time I got back inside, I was WIDE AWAKE. Not only awake because of the freaking cold night air in my pajamas - but just thinking thinking thinking. I think that I shall never date again, that's what I'm thinking. Anyway. An hour later or so, I was feeling sleepy again.


I ignored it.

"Foof. Foof. BARK!"

I couldn't figure out what she was on about, but I darned sure wasn't taking her out for walkies at 3AM. But this began a pattern... every time I would start to fall asleep, "Foof."

In the morning, I finally figured it out. Whenever one of those annoying pop-ups would come up on my computer, the ones that look like system messages and make a little "ding!" when they pop up would come in, she would bark at the computer. Apparently this dog is mortally offended by pop-ups. That's all very well and good, but I need to sleep, darn it. So, memorandum for note: tonight, turn the volume down so it doesn't make any noise. If she can detect messages over ethernet, she's a miracle dog.

I'm exhausted. Feeling a little blue, too. And my nose runneth over.

TGIF, right? Or maybe I should just express that as "Foof."

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